Backstory, will try and keep it short.
DD is very bright, academically advanced, self assured, confident, independent. Also what some have called "emotionally immature", clingy and a home bird. I don't think she's "emotionally immature". She is a young 7 yo though. Still plays with her dolls etc.
She had what seemed at the time to be a disastrous start to school life at our local state school resulting in us taking her out after two weeks in reception. We then registered her as HE as kept her out of school until a place in a private school became available at the end of the reception year.
She had 2 1/4 wonderful years in the lower school. Really idyllic. Lovely teachers, amazing HT. All in all a very comfortable existence for her.
Now she's in the upper school in Year 3 and I just feel like it's all going to shit.
I mean, on paper, it's really not that bad. But I feel like the pressure on all of us for the children to be there maybe isn't worth what she's currently getting back from school.
The days are long. Class starts at 8am and finishes at 3.50. 30 mins a week homework for maths, 30 mins for English plus spelling practice. I'm constantly running to a tight timetable where the DCs just don't seem to have time to breathe, think, play. I've just been told DS in Yr 1 should be doing his (written) spelling practise 5 times a week. On top of his 10 min a night reading. He has to keep to the same school hours as DD due to logistics.
DD loves most of her lessons. There's one lesson she's been in tears about. Something she should be fantastic at but she just can't work at the pace that is required to get anything of much worth down. She's slow at everything she does. So tonight she's crying because she lost the class a 'point' for making them all late for games. So then her friends start having a go at her.
Socially she's the sort of delightful child to get on with everyone on a superficial level but I just don't know if she's actually got any friends. She says she spends a lot of time on her own looking for people. That her 'best friend' is bullying her and she's sick of it. This is a long standing issue that basically this friend can be a mardy so and so and if she's in a bad mood or has had enough of DD she'll be curt and sarcastic and just not very nice. I don't know if that's bullying. A lot of the girls who she would say are her friends are now growing up faster than her, telling her she's playing with baby toys etc.
I'm feeling so deflated for her. She loves probably about 80% of school life. But the other 20% is causing her genuine heart ache. I feel like actually she's just not made of the mould they want. And until she fits that mould, I'm not sure it's going to work.
And then there's the money. What's the point? If she's not happy?
If it was just her I would perhaps more seriously consider HEing. But her DS would then want to be at home. But he his much better off in his lovely little pre-prep. I don't want to deprive him of that.
I don't know what I'm asking really. I'm probably tired and emotional and just sick of the whole school thing being really draining on all of us. Am I over reacting? Should HE be a last resort only?
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Should I HE my 7yo?
34 replies
PerpetuallyConfused · 10/10/2017 23:59
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