Here is my story at the moment! Anyone else out there want to share some bad and good times as they struggle with maintaining some degree of credibility at work?? I seem to be making a pigs ear of it...
Today I'm at home for the 4th time since February with a poorly dd - feeling anxious about the work I'm not getting done...
So I went back to work at the beginning of Feb when dd was 8 months old. I went back at a more senior level, 3 days a week, in a busy and well know arts organisation.
The job has been very pressured - more so than usual as the organisation has been through some major and very public restructuring.
I was very keen to get this promotion which is maternity cover until next feb.
But I am finding it really tough! I feel out of control, never quite keeping up with my full-time colleagues, I feel over-shadowed by the person who I am acting up for, I feel that all of the very hard work I put into my job before having dd is forgotten and that i am seen as a half-present and insignificant member of staff. And I'm sleep deprived...!
I heard women talking about this before I had a baby - feeling out of the picture in a career sense and now I get it. I have always cared a lot about my career and so feeling like I'm not excelling is affecting my self esteem in other parts of my life.
I feel annoyed by it all - annoyed because I'm not a man, not a younger model, because I'm a mum....
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It's hard holding down a job and being a mum isn't it?!#*!
Lotsoftoys · 06/04/2009 11:24
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