So I'm back at work full time as of last week....
God how depressing. All I can think about is DS. He's at nursery 4 days a week and the, Grandparents take it in turns for the other day. Dh and I both work in London, so he drops me at the station so I can get in for 8, then I leave at 4.30 so I can get to the nursery before 6. I work at home the day the Grandparents take him, so at least I get to see him for a few more hours.
Poor DS. 10 1/2 hours a day we abandon him. I'm surprised he hasn't forgotten me already. I feel so guilty, but have no choice. I earn almost twice as much as DH, so there's no way I can stay at home. We used most of our savings so I could be off for 8 months. We keep saying we need to look at our finances and see if there's anyway I can go down to 4 days, but we both know I can't really.
Work is OK, but changed products which is the last thing I need now, as knowing I was going back to something I know so well was my only comfort zone. Have to start learning a new product and I'm really not in the mood!!!
I know other people do it, I know I'm being crap, I know it's good for DS to go to nursery - learn social skills etc etc .... but I'm so so depressed.
I miss him so much and it hurts so to know that he isn't missing me as he's too young to really know what's going on. He's such an angel child everyone at nursery tells me how lovely he is, which makes it worse 'cos they're seeing him being lovely and I'm not.
DH is so understanding, but I know it has to be this way. I just don't know if I can cope...
BR
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Back at work.. so depressed.. sorry long post
44 replies
bunnyrabbit · 20/04/2004 09:13
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