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It's time to take a break I think

38 replies

andsmile · 29/03/2014 23:23

Im fed up of never managing to make friends on here (9 years on/off) Proper ones not just where people are friendly and welcoming on a nice steady thread.

I don't think im very good at this online chatting thing. I seem to get ignored completely.

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EatShitDerek · 29/03/2014 23:26

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ghostinthecanvas · 29/03/2014 23:30

I have a cloak of invisibility. I get ignored quite a lot. I never came here to make friends though. Have you tried your local mn meetups bench?

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lessonsintightropes · 29/03/2014 23:31

Just because people don't talk back doesn't mean you're not adding to the conversation.

For example, I've never responded to EatShitDerek but I think she's hilarious.

I am mostly nice and chatty too Grin

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ghostinthecanvas · 29/03/2014 23:33

[glum]

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BOFtastic · 29/03/2014 23:34

Do you regularly namechange? It can be hard to get to know posters when they do. I'm sorry you're feeling frustrated though.

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EatShitDerek · 29/03/2014 23:35

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andsmile · 29/03/2014 23:41

hmm thanks for replies...

I never feel like I'm 'in' ive tried fresh starts, NC a few times. I pervered a bit under the last one...cant remember why I changed now. Hmm

Anyway that 'child screaming' thread is the last straw. Some of the MN zeitgeist that exists just gets on my nerves too. Angry

So yeah time for a break.

ghost I thought about that but just wanted my online stuff separate to RL. I do have friends in RL who I dont always see a lot of. I am exactly that though [glum] been down a bit. `I like to be able to talk a bit deeper about myself as I worry - things people in RL dont have time for or be brought down by.

I shall try to remember that lessons
You seem to have a ahem 'presence' eatshitderek

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lessonsintightropes · 29/03/2014 23:42

Yeah right on Grin

BOF I've always been lessons, been posting on here for about a year since we started TTC.

ghost There are some posters I recognise in different discussions but most of the time I seem to fly under the radar.

Ghosts of MN, unite!

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BOFtastic · 29/03/2014 23:43

Do you want to talk it over here?

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andsmile · 29/03/2014 23:44

BOF I do sometimes I think I've said too much and think oh they wont like me (confidence issues) now i better NC. But the last one I really did persevere.

I'm not saying its been bad. I have been part of some wonderful threads, supportive, insightful and fun.

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lessonsintightropes · 29/03/2014 23:44

Sorry for x post. Don't go, just hide the threads that irritate you. Hide thread function is one of MN's best features.

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andsmile · 29/03/2014 23:48

Yes maybe I should. I think I should stick to certain boards to. But also not linger and waist so much time on MN - that is when it is at the expense of other things that need doing..

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andsmile · 29/03/2014 23:50

BOF that is a very kind offer, I wouldnt know where to start tbh. I have views that are demonised on MN for some things...but then on others I think people are far to harsh and dont think enough about other people.

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lessonsintightropes · 29/03/2014 23:51

Took me a while how to work out how to use it and both my sister and I go through phases where we're a bit addicted and others where we hardly read/post at all. My happy medium is reading AIBU, mostly chatting in chat and news, I can't read the conception boards any more as it was just not very helpful for me. I happily waste time here in the evenings but now never check at work/during lunch... whatever works!

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andsmile · 29/03/2014 23:57

I like housekeeping Grin its safe Wink

You right, and that has how I have been. Ive had gaps, but you know how much easier it is now with apps etc to have access. Recently I have been on a lot, but still feel...well left out despite efforts.

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EatShitDerek · 30/03/2014 00:02

This reply has been deleted

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BOFtastic · 30/03/2014 00:03

You might be right that MN isn't healthy for you right now- I really do think that differing opinions get it with both barrels on here, whereas in real life, if a pal says something like "I find breast feeding toddlers a bit weird", you are far more likely to just say "Really?" and then order some cake, because you would be faced with their actual upset if you started ranting at them and calling them ignorant...

Try to be kinder to yourself- I'm sure you're a perfectly lovely and engaging person: not finding your groove on an Internet forum doesn't mean that there is a thing wrong with you, it really doesn't.

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HazeltheMcWitch · 30/03/2014 00:05

NO one knows me either, I shouldn't think - but I'm ok with that - I dip in and dip out fairly happily.

And I LOVE Good Housekeeping. I love being able to post 'have you tried WD40?^ if someone has a stain on a wall, am now an evangelist for the Maintenance Wash.

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lessonsintightropes · 30/03/2014 00:08


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Quinteszilla · 30/03/2014 00:10

I have also been around for nine years. I dont feel that I have made friends "on here", I do feel ignored a lot of the time, despite sticking to a variety of Quintsomething the last 7 years. It does not really matter. I have gone to a few meet ups, met a few lovely Mnetters real life, some live close to me, and I do sometimes meet up with for coffee, which is nice. You need to dare to put yourself outside your comfort zone a bit to "risk" making friends I find.

But I have a theory that many of us here are a little damaged in one way or the other, and struggle a bit, so it is difficult to get a sense of belonging and friendship.

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HazeltheMcWitch · 30/03/2014 00:12

Oh, lessons, you dont do a maintenance wash, hey? Hmm
Dear, dear, dear.

Everyone would laugh if they knew I posted on Good Housekeeping, as I am a slattern. And MNers would instantly discount my advice for the same reason.

Oh, I also love Gardening (I don't garden much, but I have planted a few seeds this year). It's a happy place. Albeit one full of people with orchards and acres, but they are very nice.

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HazeltheMcWitch · 30/03/2014 00:13

Oops, forgot a Wink face. Or a Grin
I just look like a be-judgeypanted bitch now.

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lessonsintightropes · 30/03/2014 00:16

Quint we've come across each other on threads before now, you always seem to have a lovely and sensible opinion on things. Hello!

And as for you judgey-pants McWitch, back to gardening and housekeeping for you Grin where I hope to pick up a few tips from you and andsmile in the future Smile

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roadwalker · 30/03/2014 00:19

i am totally ignored
a few days ago I was on a thread and commented that it all seemed a bit suspicious, 2 pages later one of mumsnets finest said the same and all posts after that thanked her for highlighting concerns and why did no-one see it before
totally invisible me
perhaps we should have an invisible section?

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Quinteszilla · 30/03/2014 00:20

You must have caught me on a good day! Grin

I can be a real thoughtless cow and put my foot in my mouth on more occasions than I care/dare to remember!

But hey! Everybody do that from time to time!

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