Book recommendations needed.

[Myka]

On phone so sorry for any typos.
I'm preety sure my mum is in severe depression atm. Can anyone recommend a book i can get for my dad to help him cope? He's good with practicle stuff but needs help on how to help mum. They're both late sixties so bit old school about this type of thing. Any advice gladly received.
Won't be back online till this eve so don't think I'm rude if i don't reply for a while.
TIA.

[cestlavielife]

www.amazon.co.uk/Had-Black-Dog-Matthew-Johnstone/dp/1845295897/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=127607&tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21 9331&sr=1-1
I Had a Black Dog (Paperback)
by Matthew Johnstone
Matthew Johnstone (Author)

and Living with a Black Dog (Paperback)
by Matthew Johnstone
Matthew Johnstone (Author)
www.amazon.co.uk/Living-Black-Dog-Matthew-Johnstone/dp/1845297431?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

[iloveasylumseekers]

Best book on depression from patient's POV is Depressive Illness: The Curse of the Strong by Tim Cantopher (consultant psych at one of the Priory Hospitals, but it's also hugely helpful for family, too.

[Myka]

Thanks so much for the tips, I'm looking to see if there's any copies in my local libraries but will get them from Amazon if not.

DM has been depressed for a long time now I think, she was on AD's for a while but stopped them as they were interfering with her other medication (she has lots of other health issues).

Currently she is very physically ill and the GP/hospital haven't managed to find a cause yet, she's nauseous, extremely tired to the point of being barely able to wash herself and has passed out a couple of times. I've googled (bad idea, I know) and it appears that most of her current symptoms can be a physical manifestation of depression, I am really beginning to think she's chronically depressed now.

I am struggling to remain sympathetic though and I feel extremely guilty about it. All her life she's been very negative, unwilling to change or try new things and since she's been diagnosed with depression she's not appeared to do anything to help herself. I really struggle to deal with this attitude. And before I get flamed I'm not saying she's able to 'pull herself together' or anything like that, I know it's an illness the same as a physical one.

For example, the GP offered her a short course of therapy, she went once. I bought her a course of yoga at a holistic therapy centre (they deal with depression etc and had on-site counsellors if she wanted), it was expensive but thought it was worth it to help her in some way, she knows I'm not flush with money and yet she's not once gone to a session. I've offered to book them for her, to take her (she can't drive), even to go to a session myself with her but there's always an excuse why she can't.

And that's the attitude I can't understand, whatever you suggest there's always a reason for not doing it (and this has been all her life, it's a personality trait not a symptom of the depression).

This is turning into quite a brain dump!

I've been holding on to all this for a while and I guess I need to let it out.

I am always very sympathetic whenever I speak to her but it is like treading on eggshells constantly in case I upset her or make her worse and I am getting very tired. My poor Dad is also trying to cope with this (his way is by keeping out of the way playing golf!). He's very old fashioned (Daily Mail reader ) and he does snap at her quite a bit. I then end up in the middle of all this with him moaning about her - the apathy winds him up too, and then I get her moaning about him being unsympathetic. I'm so tired of it but I don't want to be a horrible uncaring daughter and I want to help them but whenever I try it's never enough and it does no good.

Thanks to anyone who's managed to read this far! Not sure what advice I'm after (if any) but it's good to talk...