Anybody about to talk please?

[Disenchanted3]

I had my assesment today, it all went OK but was terrifying.

I've waited 6 months for it only to be told at the end theres another 6 months waiting list to actually DO anything now

I was given a load of sheets to fill in, like Homework and the woman is going to call me fortnightly to see how I am.

I feel like I have waited long enough, I thought this was it, me getting help, and now I'm waiting again.

I completly freaked out on way home too as I bumped into hubby and he had let my sister take DS2 for a walk.

I just lost it and cried because I was so scared.

He was fine, but I knew that really.

Then I read all that stuff today about that psycho and all those poor people getting shot and now I feel terrified, like it could happen to us too.

I know its stupid and unlikely but everything I'm scred of is.

We have a 'fete' tomorrow and now I'm thinking we shouldn't go incase a nutter targets it

Yes I realise how ridiculous I sound and Yes I will go, I will.

But I'm sick of not being normal, rational.

I think I'm going to go to the GP and ask for tablets.

I've been against them for years but I can't continue like this.

[kizzie]

hi -im around

I think a lot of people will have had the same reaction to the cumbria story.
Try and stay away from news bulletins etc. I

And you are not stupid. Anxiety does that to yyou.
Im sorry youre appointment was so dissapointing

[PiggyMad]

Sorry you're feeling so low but it's a good thing that the assessment is done and the ball is rolling with the help.
I'm sure if you talked to the gp about tablets and told him/her your fears and reservations about them then you might feel a bit more reassured about trying them?

[PiggyMad]

Only just seen about the Cumbria story - your fears are completely understandable, but with things like this my anxiety takes over all rationality so I know how you feel.

[Disenchanted3]

Thankyou both.

Yes, I suppose lots of people will think the same as me regarding Cumbria, I suppose its because its the sort of thing that I worry about anyways that makes me (well some daft part of me) think 'see - it can happen!'

The appointment its self wasn't disapointing it was good to tell someone everything, but I just assumed I would have my first appointment next week, not in December

[willsurvivethis]

Hi disenchanted - b*gger that you now have to wait so long again. I had to wait from May until the end of August and it was hell. i would have waited longer but the practice therapist plucked me out of the queue as she was getting concerned.

I'm glad someone is calling you fornightly - please be very honest with this person as she will if needed have the power to bring you forward on the list.

If you feel persistently low then yes probably a visit to the doctor for some pills may not be a bad idea.

Do you feel the CBT may help you? (I've never had it)

[Disenchanted3]

Hi, its not low really, I feel low when I think about how bad I've gotten but its more of a constant state of anxiety.

Like the nerves you get before a test at school or a work interview, i feel that low level of worried pretty much 24/7 and if theres anything (an appointment, a phonecall I have to make, even returning something to a shop) then it can get alot worse quickly.

And its constant with my kids, I just worry about loosing them (hence being so upset when I saw DH coming down the road with no DS2!)

[willsurvivethis]

Have you heard of a technique called mindfulness? It realy helps me when I panic.

[TheArmadillo]

I am being treated for something called generalised anxiety at the moment (basically means constant, rather than only when set off by e.g. social situations).

Firstly I am on fluoxetine (prozac) which really helps calm me down - it has made a huge difference to me. It doesn't eliminate the anxiety but calms me down enough so I can cope with it.

I also get paranoid delusions/hallucinations (I see and hear things that aren't there, or I believe things are coming to get me) when really worked up so take another drug (an anti-psychotic) to help control that.

The drugs have made a huge difference to me - although the anti-d takes a couple of weeks to kick in. Although still not well enough to work, it is enough to allow me to have some kind of life.

I have been assessed by 2 psychiatric teams and either I am not bad enough for them when medicated or they do not have enough resources to take me on. I am under gp led care which means I see a gp every week adn discuss things with them. I have been put in touch with a support group though that offer group sessions and counselling that looks good - is there anything in your area? Mine is specifically for mothers with mental health problems.

WHat I'm trying to say is - drugs can be really useful in helping you get enough of a grip on the anxiety to start dealing with it (they cannot be a cure in themselves though unfortunately). Also see what other care is available.

[Disenchanted3]

Armidillo, so much of what you say rings true with me.

I mentioned some of it in passing to her today but felt to stupid (and i felt like I sounded crazy) and so when she didn't press further I didn't say more.

Would you mind dropping me an email, if you don't mind talking about it a bit more?

I don't want to go into much detail here, but would love to talk to someone who is going through similar.

pug_

@hotmail.com

I might not be able to reply in depth tonigh as DD is teething and like a limpet!

[basl]

Sorry Dis i hope you don't mind me sending some huge hugs to you. I have not been to great lately and due to start some therapy but i have been lucky enough to have this from my work. I think talking on here is such a good thing and really helps me. It is such a relief to here others feel the same and come out the other end. Take care and really take advantage of those fortnightly calls so they can help you as quick as possible.

I will be thinking about you and send my love xx

[Disenchanted3]

Thankyou Basi, your such a sweetheart thinking of me when you have so much worse going on with yourself.

I know what you mean about talking on here, sometimes I must sound like a broken record but its the only place I have to talk.

x

[Disenchanted3]

sorry its [email protected]

don't know what happened there!

[TheArmadillo]

yep will do that now.

[Disenchanted3]

Thankyou

[basl]

Aww you are most welcome Dis. Have you ever tried Hypnotherapy??? Again not solve everything but i know it is great for the constant Anxiety. Take care and i will leave you in the safe hands of all the lovely ladies on here xxx

[Disenchanted3]

Whts mindfulness please survive? Do you do it?

No Basi - have you?!

[basl]

Yes years ago when i was having another crisis. I was very young at the time and it really helped. Again sure there will be a long wait but my parents paid for me to have this and i got alot from it. It really helps talk yourself out of the negative thinking and calm down an attack. I should look into it again all these things are useful tools i think till you get the proper treatment you need.

[Disenchanted3]

Sounds interesting, I'll look into it, thanks x

[willsurvivethis]

Mindfulness means paying total attention to yourself and what is around you. You are washing up, you feel the water is warm, the plate is smooth, the suds tickle your hands, the rainbow in the bubbles, the smell of the soap. In minute detail. It takes your attention away from what is bothering you. It takes some practice.

[SparklyGothKat]

Hi Dis, I am also here atm as hit rock bottom again a month ago. My GP has referred me for CBT, and told me there is a long waiting list, which scares me, as I need help now, but its a step in the right direction. I am on ADs (just got another 2 months supply) and my GP thinks I may need them long term. The ADs have helped me with my depression and my panics, I feel like I am living again, and not roleplaying. Am enjoying my kids and life feels better.

You have my number if you want a chat x

[Disenchanted3]

Thanks SGK, I had no idea

It seems like medication does help, I've been reluctant because DH is on them and I was worried what 'they' would think about 2 parents on meds.

Which is silly as people round here know how much we love our kids.

And the other reason is that DD still co-sleeps with us (on my side) and If I got on tablets I'm going to have to get her in her cot and I've tried before and its not something I want to tackle right now but I think I''m going to have to.

Thanks for replying SGK.

It sounds kind of twisted but it is a relief to know that people I know and chat to can feel the same way sometimes,

I hope you start to feel better soon x (Am glad you are starting to enjoy your kids, I feel like although I love them to pieces they are just so much to handle at the moment - holidays aren't halping! )