Help! I'm afraid I'm going to go under again..

[edwardcullensotherwoman]

Apologies in advance if this turns into a bit of a long post.
I've been battling PND since ds was born (only knowingly since May last year). I saw a counsellor and was taking citalopram, but by february I felt really good so weaned myself off them. Everything has been great, I'm back to my usual self.
BUT, now dp is getting allsorts of stress from work; not just from the job he does, but the way management seem to handle everything. He's had a written warning for sickness absence because he was off for 2 weeks with suspected swine flu which prompted a bad chest infection. He's been told this can't be treated as a one off, so they had no choice but to issue the warning.
He applied for special leave in February as ds(2) was in hospital (an hour away from home) for an operation. DS also ended up on a drip for nearly 2 days because he picked up the rotavirus. Work knows this. He was only given 3 of the 5 days he applied for - management argues that I could have been there for ds for the other 2 days. We were both staying at the hospital, taking turns sleeping in the ward with ds while the other slept in the accommodation that we were given. I want dp to appeal against the decision - I've said I'll do the writing up, i feel that strongly about it, he just needs to submit it, but he says its too stressful and doesn't think he wants to do it.
I know it sounds very selfish of me to be feeling down because dp is stressed, but he's admitted himself that it affects how he is at home, and I really don't want all the stress to push me back into depression. I wonder if I should go back on the citalopram or see the counsellor again.
Anyone want to tell me I'm being melodramatic and to get a grip??

[edwardcullensotherwoman]

Thanks ruby.
I agree, I think all employers are being strict about leave - especially paid as they probably can't afford it.
Yes everything seems to have settled now (ds's operation was to have a device fitted for easier treatment of haemophilia, so obviously that will never go but is now more manageable)
Hmm you're probably right about the leave, as is dp, it just riles me that people in his particular workplace get the same type of leave granted to attend sports events (representing the workplace), and yet someone whose child is having an operation cannot get all the time they need to spend with their child in hospital. But I will try to let it lie.

The citalopram was just to bring me back to myself (righting the hormonal imbalance caused by PND), which it did. Before i came off them they were just leaving me in a neutral state - not depressed but not super happy either. I wasn't happy with that which is why I came off them, but I'm open minded about using them again - I didn't say never again. I think my first step will be the counsellor though, as you say she can give me an informed opinion.

Sorry for going on - just felt i needed to let it all out somewhere!

[edwardcullensotherwoman]

Thanks Ruby. DP is normally like that, but I think the stress of it all is just wearing him down, added to the fact that he just hates t he job now (doesn't everyone ?! )

I think I will get an appt with the counsellor and see how I manage. I'm not feeling totally depressed, just a bit down the last couple of days really. Like I said I'm open minded about taking the AD's again, but don;t want to jump straight back on them because of a few down days.

Thanks again for listening!

[edwardcullensotherwoman]

Sorry to hear that Ruby - glad you were ok though. my HV wasn't very good in that department - I went to her when ds was about 8mo for weighing etc, dp was with me and mentioned that I'd been feeling a bit down. She said it was probably just because I was so tired looking after ds, and I didn't have PND (I sat in her office and cried the whole time I was there )

That's the big thing I think, stopping to think about yourself. They don't teach you that in antenatal!