I've always been an extremely unsociable person. Could never make friends as a child and at high school I only ever made one friend (who I became so fiercly protective over, I lied to split her from her boyfriend and she hated me for it )
As an adult, I'm worse.
I stress out about the silliest things. I have been with my current partner for a year and have still not met his parents. I find the thought of it terrifying.
I hate parties. If I have to go to one, I spend weeks stressing out about it and trying to find excuses not to go. When there, I sit quietly in a corner and hope nobody pays me too much attention.
I am due to take the kids to see my grandad next week and I'm dreading it. When I visit, I feel like I'm "on show" and that everyone is watching me. I then assume that they'll all talk about me when I leave.
I am currently a member of a fitness club that means a lot to me. I have made no friends there, but I enjoy it. However, it is constantly blighted by my paranoia. I always assume the other members hate me, that they laugh about me and discuss me when I'm not there. I think the instructor hates me, and his wife hates me even more.
I noticed last time the instructor said I had to work with her, they both started laughing and she mouthed to him "you sod!" or something similar but I don't know why she hates me so much. I've done nothing to her.
I feel my life is constantly ruled by my paranoia and anxiety. I spend more time worrying about social events than I do enjoying them.
Is there anything that can be done?
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Mental health
Social Anxiety and Paranoia
2 replies
Soz4namechange · 19/12/2009 18:43
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