Worried they wont belive me......

[lildubs01]

well im well and truely fed up. I think i have some sort of eating disorder i will starve myself and then feel bad about eating a biscuit i would call that me bingeing!! i will then worry myself and feel guilty about feeling that way and will then take laxatives (I KNOW)to make me feel a little better...... but worse in the long run i have 2 under 2s i struggle withevery day things then i feel bad, ill cry and feel sorry for myself i have people telling me i look awfull (im not under weight) bmi 21 i have booked an appoinment with my gp but im scared they wont belive me like i said im not under weight stressed tired unable to cope i am currently on my 3rd day of my alowed 7 days sick i cannot face work im at a loose end i dont know what to do

[Nesssa]

lildubs01 - im glad for you that you've posted this and that you've made an appointment with your gp. it sounds like you might have PND - tell your doctor how you are feeling and they will be able to help. if they arent sympathetic or say they dont believe you, change your doctor straightaway. you DON"T have to feel like this.

it took me more than two years after my DS was born to get some help (first gp just didnt want to know). i struggled on until i started feeling suicidal and DH made me change doctors, to one who took me seriously and started me on ADs. do you have anyone to help with the kids in the meantime? just a break away would do you a world of good. good luck - we all know how hard being a mum can be sometimes.

[lildubs01]

Thank you for all advice i dont really have any help with them the only break i get is when im at work and i dont have the energy for that at the moment its the last place i want to be the children are at playgroup when im at work and i can only afford for them to be there when im at work so catch 22 really.

[twoisplenty]

Just to say that, I read recently, that taking laxatives doesn't do anything to get rid of calories. So please try not to take any, because they make you feel ill, for no reason.

Do you have this eating pattern every day? Or does it happen when especially stressed?

[justcantstop]

Just to add that I agree with stoppingat2 - I used to be addicted to laxatives and they are false weight loss, the part of the intestine they take things from is the part after evrythins been absorbed - except the water and the nutrients. This is why they are so dangerous as you mess up all the chemicals in your body. I was addicted to them for years - they are horrid things.

Well done for booking an appointment with the GP, let us know how it goes.

[lildubs01]

the funny thing is i know they dont help with weight loss i think i just use them to make me feel better. My daily eating pattern is usually no breakfast no lunch or if i do its only lettuce and branston pickle(strange i know) and i eat a small dinner but i only usually have that if my partner is home i am actually shocked to read this back to myself i am slightly embarrassed. i usually have biscuits and crisps at work as i have an active job on my feet so i need the energy. my appointment is next thurs the earliest they could fit me in i just hope they dont palm me off.

[Snowtiger]

Lildubs01 I suffered with eating disorders for years in my late teens and early twenties - well done you for recognising that you have a problem. Hopefully the Dr will be able to give you some help - as other posters have said this could be linked to PND or could be separate, but either way make sure they take you seriously and enable you to get some help.

The greatest help for me was going to a hypnotherapist who helped me work through all the issues that lead to my eating problems (eating to fill an emotional hole vs starving myself to give myself a feeling of control over something in my life) and that helped me to get some perspective on why I was doing it. The next step was to get some help on working out what a 'normal' daily diet was (I'd no idea by that time as it had been so long since I'd eaten properly, had no idea of what portion size should be) and teach my body to recognise 'normal' hunger and the 'satisfied' feeling rather than being starving or stuffed.

Having two small children is a HUGE drain on you, and working too, so you need to ensure your body is properly fuelled with energy and nutrients. If you can, ask your Dr to refer you to an eating disorder counsellor and / or nutritionist to tackle both sides of the problem.

In the meantime good luck, do your best to ensure you get the help you need, and have a look at the Eating disorders association website here

You are not alone - a frightening number of people struggle with eating, food and associated issues. Well done for asking for help, you've already taken the biggest and most difficult step.

((un-mumsnetty hug))

[twoisplenty]

I agree with Snowtiger, it is frightenting to talk about the problem. But once you have made the first move it does get easier. Believe me. I told my counsellor about my ed about four months ago. She was amazingly calm, non-judgemental (my worst fear), and lovely. And she has continued to work with me.

She never talks about the ed, she talks about the issues in my life that cause stress. She knows that the ed is only a behaviour, it is the underlying cause that needs to be tackled. She has never asked me about what I eat, or rituals, what weight I have lost etc. She wants to know what my daily life is, and how to improve my mental state and become someone who is comfortable in life.

And I am getting there, slowly.

Do it. It is your right to be happy. You do not need to suffer. Counsellors are lovely and gentle and kind. And nurturing. It is somewhere safe where I can talk about things and gain a new perspective. In my own time.

HTH