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[Sparkler]

Not sure if I'm posting this in the right place really. I've suffered with depression in the past and haven't taken AD's for months now. I know the feeling I have now isn't nearly half as bad as it was back then so I'm pretty sure I'm not going down that route again. Wasn't really sure where else to post.
I just feel like I don't know who I am anymore. Sorry sounds stupid when I read it back to myself but it's how I'm feeling. I' m very happily married with two beautiful daughters. Wouldn't swap any of them for the world but it's just I'm not sure what to do from here. My girls are 10 and 7 and for the past couple of years I've been doing a bit of part time work which fits in with school hours and I take time off in the holidays. So it's all perfect really.
Today, I had a child free afternoon. Always saying I need time to myself and I had 4/5 hours this afternoon. I chose to go for a bit of retail therapy. I walked around the shops for the first hour feeling totally lost. It was as if I'd forgotten how to do it (again sounds stupid when I read it back ) . I found a top which I thought was quite nice and then stood there for ages ttrying to decide whether or not I should buy it and if it was too much money to spend on myself. In the end I bought it and the rest of the shopping trip seemed to feel better. I ended up going for a coffee but felt like a right numpty sitting there by myself when everyone around me were sitting with their friends chatting away.
I've been fancying a night out with with the girls for ages now and DH told me to sort something out and so last week I text a few friends to see if they fancied going out this evening for a few drinks (I haven't had a nigh out for such a long time - I think I've even "forgotten how to do that!") and none of them could make it. This makes me feel quite too. Everything seems to have gone by the wayside over the years since I've become Mum.
Sorry probably just feeling sorry for myself. Due on so not the best time for me atm.
Thanks for listening if you've got this far and sorry for moaning.

[YommyMommy]

Sparkler,

Don;t apologise for how you are feeling! My kids are much younger for than yours so I pretty much have them both attached to me at all times! The little free time that I do get I enjoy, but when I go into town or out without them I have to admit that I feel lost without them!

My life totally changed when I had my boys - mostly good and like you I wouldn;t change them for the world! However I do miss my ild life from time to time!

Sorry if this is no help what so ever, but didn;t want ur post to go unanswered!

Things will get better the more used to your "me time" u become!

x x x

[Sparkler]

Started another thread in chat instead but thanks for your reply YommyMommy. I'm sure you are right, it's just a case of getting used to changes again I suppose.