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can anyone give me some advice? hr meeting and on sick leave any exp anyone?

(13 Posts)
madmissy Thu 16-Jul-09 17:41:20

hi thanks for reading!

bit of background on me, sept/oct time alot came to boiling point with me and i have been signed off work since then with anxiety and depression.

i am now in the care of the out patients at my local hospital and therefore have a community nurse and a consultant.

i have also just today started anxiety management therapy for the next 8 weeks from aug i am due to start therapy with my husband and then whatever follows on from my anxiety therapy

i am reviewed every 8 weeks with my med certs so far and i am now getting employment support allowance.

i have today had a request for a meeting with work and the hr manager is to attend also. i am now really panicking about that.

does anyone have any idea what they are likely to chat about? i am only part time now since having my children and my sickness record over the last few years has obv not been great.

i am also now 17 weeks pregnant..

god i feel sick just thinking about it all i have feeling they will ask me to leave?

ErikaMaye Thu 16-Jul-09 22:48:29


I'm sorry to hear that things have been so difficult for you recently. I really hope that the therapy you'll be started soon will start to benifit you.

I won't lie, my immediate reaction is that its quite possible they will be considering asking you to leave on a medical basis. Its been over six months. And especially if you're now pregnant (Congratulations, by the way grin am five weeks ahead of you!) it doesn't look too promising.

However - the main thing is to make sure that, regardless of what it is they have to say to you, it is not a stressful experience, or as stress-free as it can possibly be. Is there someone who would be able to go with you? DH? Nurse? I think doing this with support would be great for you.

Thing is, with the financial climate being like it is, employers need to cut down on staffing, and unfortunately, long term health issues are a good way for tem to do it.

Do you have a date for the meeting?

madmissy Fri 17-Jul-09 09:29:54

yes she wanted to meet on a day that i have therapy so i have had to say i can not make it and then she said i will let you know as the hr managers are coming to luton to attend, which is scary not had that other than all the problems i had trying to get back to work after dd2

my husband was made redundant by them in nov last year so the cutting down on jobs is a threat.

i will take dh with me or my union friend

congrats to you too!

i need to actually give proper notice of my pg to work so that will be interesting too

im just shi**ing it

ErikaMaye Fri 17-Jul-09 11:00:53

Sometimes getting back into work just isn't possible after the birth of a child, or after being ill. Its not the same, I know, but I had to back out of a fully funded scholorship for sixth form because I developed ME / CFS. My work kept me on for a little while and then we both agreed that I just wasn't going to be back for a while. So I had to leave. Its not easy, but in some ways, it took a load off my mind, not having the pressure of HAVING to recover to get back to work.

Is your husband working again now?

I'm glad you have a couple of people on hand who would be able to go with you.

Thanks The MW has just been round, said that everything looks good.

I can't give you any advice on that - I was unemployed when I fell pregnant - but prehaphs writing to them, formally, before this meeting might be advicable? Say that you waited until you were in the "safety zone" before you notified them, and that your EDD is this etc.? Then you won't just be springing it on them in the meeting, which I'm sure won't go down too well.

I can imagine, chuck, but try and stay calm. Theres nothing you can do about the meeting except preparing yourself for it, and preparing the letter if you decide to do so. I'm always around if you want to talk. x

dizzydixies Fri 17-Jul-09 11:05:31

please dp take your DH and union rep, even if only to write notes for you, it can be quite daunting.

could you ask them to send you an adgenda for the meeting and detail exactly who is going to be there before hand so you know what to expect - this should cut down on any anxiety you have about it

they ahould not be there to grill/pressure you at all but to support you and see what they can do to help

does your work have a welfare dept at all? maybe they would attend as well

and above all else get yourself some rescue remedy to take too smile

YommyMommy Fri 17-Jul-09 11:29:14

Hello Again Madmissy,

When I was first off sick with anxiety I requested that the HR were to come and see me in my house? You can do that of you are off sick and if you feel like going to the work place with cause you too much stress!

Hope that helps!

P.S. Congrats on the pregnancy too!

madmissy Fri 17-Jul-09 13:39:37

thanks guys think i will request home visit going out i find difficult at mo anyhow.

as for hubby no hes still out of work, its only the last few weeks where hes not had to be so much of a 'carer' but hes desp to get back to work he misses it. just does not seem to be anything here now

mooseloose Fri 17-Jul-09 22:45:59

I have been off work a long time with anxiety (back now a bit) and Hr and my manager have wanted to see me every few weeks just to see how I am doing. It just to satisfy them that they are doing what they can to support me. So I wouldn't be too worried.
They have asked to come to my home, but I said no (i dont want them in my safe haven) so i went to work intead.

ErikaMaye Mon 20-Jul-09 05:19:11

Hey hun, how are you feeling now?

Whatever you decide - for them to come to you, or for you to go into work - just make sure you're comfortable with what you're going to say, be prepared for every possibility, although some of them are hard to think about. We're all rooting for you

madmissy Mon 20-Jul-09 12:18:32

i emailed asking who will be there and what its about etc and she just confirmed that its because of the amount of time i have been off its legal req for them to keep in reg contact.

i asked for a home visit instead but she mentioned that it may not be her that comes but someone else in which case i wont know either of them.

stupidly i was up all night having anxiety attacks about it

just wish that i would wake up normal one day

thanks for asking smile

ErikaMaye Mon 20-Jul-09 18:54:10

Her response is a good sign Even if it can't be a home visit / you don't know the person that is coming, at least you're aware that its just procedure now. I hope that eases your mind a little.

You poor thing! I hope today has been better. x

If you find a way to become * normal * make sure you post some of it this way, please grin

Keep smiling.

madmissy Mon 20-Jul-09 19:52:33

lol i will!

ErikaMaye Mon 20-Jul-09 21:26:06

Good on you

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