Not sure where to start with this one.
My son is five and I really do love him with all my heart. I just find everything to do with motherhood terminally boring. I remember sitting in soft play centres wanting to top myself. I hate going to parks and playing kids games and kids tv.
I could just about cope with it all when I was working but I gave up two years ago as childcare was difficult as I travelled abroad a lot with my job. I was glad to leave my job but it did have lots of perks and I do miss them now.
I think that is a big part of my problem. I know that I don't have the escape of work every now and then and I am just stuck at home doing the same thing day in, day out. My son is at school now but the school day goes so quickly, it's difficult to go to far (eg if I wanted to see a friend further away). I just seem to have got myself into a lethargic rut.
I don't have any energy and even less enthusiasm for anything. My husband is fed up with me as my moods are very erratic (he doesn't know half of how I feel as when I've tried to explain it always ends in an argument). He tells me I want for nothing and don't have a hard life.
I've started going to the gym to try and get my energy levels up and am looking into working (I do want to) but it's a slow process as I am so lethargic. I usually have to go to bed each day for half an hour at least because I feel so tired. I feel tearful and very depressed quite a lot too.
I am craving some excitement and can't accept that this is all there is to life. The endless rounds of playdates, birthday parties, having other peoples kids for tea and them tearing round to house and trashing it is driving me mad. I hate it all. I don't enjoy anything. I just plaster a smile on my face and pretend. I feel like just jumping on a plane and escaping. I feel middle aged and dead inside.
Can anyone offer any advice? A job, medication??
Please or to access all these features
Please
or
to access all these features
Mumsnet hasn't checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you have medical concerns, please seek medical attention.
Mental health
I don't enjoy being a Stay At Home Mum-feel like I am sinking into depression
12 replies
therealthing · 18/06/2009 20:13
OP posts:
Please create an account
To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.