Just need to let off steam

[CheekyLady]

I wouldnt really bother to read this because it isnt really a thread, just me letting off steam because I dont have any other outlet. I dont actually have a sinlge friend in the whole world - can you imagine that? aged 32 and not one friend. And I cant be arsed to write a diary which is the only other option so MN will feel the full force of my pissed-off-ness instead.

So thats it really, I am pissed off with my life, every aspect of it and I dont know how I ended up here. I am sure this wasnt how I imagined my life turning out but I dont know where it all went wrong. No friends, a dh who frankly I depise most of the time, kids driving me nuts even though to everyone else they are adorable angels, little miracles etc etc. Job is now screwed thanks to aforementioned angels, so no money either and no prospects of anything nice at all.

Every single day is the same, same routine, same hassles and work to be done, same old crap - I dont even know what day it is half the time because it doenst even matter. I just do my chores and try and keep the babies happy and it feels like I am just passing the time until they go to bed...... and then I go to bed too. What kind of a life is that? There just doesnt seem to be any point to it at all - is this what life is all about? So the days pass, and the weeks and the months and so what? Still the same misery and drudgery.

The only escapism I have is the fantasy world I have created in my head since I first got pregnant and my world started imploding, but know I think I am going nuts. I spend so long in my made-up world that sometimes I find myself all happy and hopeful and realise it is because of something imaginary and then I crash back to earth again with a big smack. Sometimes even my stupid little fantasies go wrong and i start scenarios all over again- how ridiculous is that? I have ruined my real life and now my make believe one too.

So there you go. I am off to bed now before dh comes upstairs and tries to be nice to me. I cant bear the effort of pretending to be normal and talking about his boring day or anything else.

[Aero]

Am sure I can offer little in the way of anything that can help make you feel better, but it does sound that you're having a crappy time and there are people who do actually care.......it may be virtual, but there are rl folk on here who do want to know and help if they can.
Just wanted you to know that your post is worth reading as much as anyone elses.
Would it help just to offload here?
Why are things so bad with dh?

[dropinthe]

Was really to read your thread-I do know how you are feeling but cant offer any advice-all I can say is that if you are making your kids happy then you havent ruined your life.