I have been feeling bad for the past 5 and a half years on and off since the birth of my first baby. I have been on and off antidepressants ever since. Recently its been getting worse, and been aggravated by other thing happening in life, money, jobs, family problems etc. DH and mines relationship has gradually fallen apart over the past year or so. I know relationships change after time but both of us have said we haven't got that 'in love' feeling anymore. I always come of the ADs cos DH doesn't like me being on them. Well the other day I finally went to the doctors and got some more. She also put me on diazepam for my panic attacks. DH was really funny with me when I told him I was back on ADs. I sat there for over an hours trying to expain to him that I'm ill, and that if it was cancer, he would surely want me to do something about it. Why can't I take tablets for my ill head?? In the end I think he gave up, but he still isn't happy about it. He refused to come to the doctor with me so that she could explain everything to him. We have never really been completely settled in our relationship. There has always been something go wrong or come between us. The trouble is, I can't see how ADs will help cos in the long run, me and DH will probably not last. He has left me a few times. Only for a couple of nights, but he just seems to keep running away from everything. Then he comes back and tells me that I should be the one to leave seeing as he bought everything in the house. I refuse to leave. I have battled and fought all of my life for everything, most of the time without success.
I had a horrible panic attack earlier this morning and I am feeling very ill, nervous and shaky......I haven't been able to take the kids to school and I just know that I am going to get yelled at for that. But it is impossible for me to leave the house today. I feel so sick and shaky. I don't want to take the diazepam for fear it will make me drowsy and I won't be able enough to help my kids today.
Not sure how I am going to get through today.
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Mental health
how do I get through the day?
25 replies
eeyore123 · 14/01/2005 08:35
OP posts:
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