Anyone else keep re-referring for counselling?

[starduster]

This is me. I've been round and round about 3 times now, just start getting into things with my counsellor and then bam, 8 sessions has been and gone and they can't extend any more, so I have to wait until I can re-refer myself again.
I can't afford private, even reduced rates at the moment. The one counsellor I found couldn't fit me in at a convenient time so I'm back to sq 1.
I'm tired of this counselling merry go round and just need something longer term. Has anyone managed this and if so how? I really need help. I know the NHS has limited resources and waiting lists, but surely offering limited sessions is worse than just offering me what I need, as I just need to keep coming back and starting again without progressing and therefore wasting time and resources.
Very frustrated

[BeetrootBasil]

I agree it's a problem, all the counselling is geared towards short term interventions, which is no good when you need longer term consistent support. They do offer longer term counselling - I know of someone on the waiting list for 12 months counselling who has a long term health problem. Don't give up. Would you consider Skype counselling?

[fantasmasgoria1]

Short term counselling is good for mild depression any worse and it's ineffective this was said to me by a professor psychiatrist and an amph. I totally agree. Are you in the care of a community mental health team?

[Craftycorvid]

I’m sorry you are in this position, OP. Have you tried charities or agencies? A few do still offer ‘open-ended’ therapy, though there would be a waiting list.

[granadagirl]

What about mind they do counselling

[cookiemonster5]

I rang to refer for counselling last week after spending the last 2+years asking for help and being told there isn't any they haven't bothered to call me back. I've contacted loads of places for help and there isn't any for me.

It's disgusting the lack of help available.

[starduster]

I'm not considered severe enough to be referred to MH, apparently, but I think that's because I present well on the outside and am good at covering things up. No one knows how bad it gets apart from me.
I'm going to see my GP again and explain all of this. I've found short term counselling more damaging than helpful because I see how useful it is when I have it and without it it feel dropped like a stone with nowhere to turn when I need it most.
I've just looked at Mind - can't see any counselling services offered? Maybe I'll give them a call.
Not sure about Skype, I have trust issues and would find it hard to build a rapport that way.

[Branleuse]

have you considered asking at your local college for students? Maybe 3rd year who need clients. This can be free sometimes or very cheap

[cookiemonster5]

@starduster it's exactly the same here. Unless I do something serious like self-harm or attempt suicide I'm not deemed in need enough to be helped by the MH team.

They don't seem to realise if they help us before we get to that point it's a lot better and more economical.

I was pointed towards living life which is an nhs service giving 4-9 sessions over the phone and breathing space for evenings and weekends so I had "someone to chat to"

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

I feel for you! I actually never got offered counselling and instead got some bizarre online sessions. (Had to read some Wikipedia worthy articles on depression and write on a diary). They didn't help obviously.

The GPs would only fob me off with more setraline when it did nothing. I once stormed out because they just kept printing stuff out of Google and said if I ever die you'll have blood in your hands, and still did nothing.

At this point in my life I was suffering with hallucinations but called Mind. They helped get a number so I could call the MH team.

Somebody called me within hours and talked to me for as long as I needed. Those 45mins changed my life. So please I do encourage you to call Mind.

[starduster]

Cookiemonster, that's so minimising and patronising isn't it. It's obviously not meant to be but feeling fobbed off is really damaging when you're reaching out for help and trying to get someone to listen to you.
That's awful, Rainbow. I'm considering ADs but not keen. Did they not help at all?

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

No they didn't help at all, but what I have is very episodal. So let's say out of 30 days in a month maybe I feel low/anxious for 3-5 of those days. Yes, they can spiral out of control but the rest of the time I'm very happy, optimistic, and high a have tolerance for frustration. Pills would only put me in a numb/limbo state all the time which also took away the joys I'm capable of experiencing.

When I the psychiatrist called me, he said that he didn't see any benefit to antidepressants in my case. I told him that actually just having a drink would relax me more and be more beneficial than anything else. He agreed, and from then onwards I have a beer if I feel on edge. I also sooth myself by telling me that what I feel isn't the real me, that also works well.

Therapy did help, but I have WAY too many issues and not enough money, so I had to stop it.

[starduster]

Have you tried beta blockers for those episodes? I'm really worried about having that numb feeling - although my lows are horrendous, I absolutely love my highs and don't want to not be able to feel them. That's why I thought of asking for the blockers, as I think you can take them as and when, not sure if that's correct or what the side effects are.

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

I repeatedly asked for diazepam/clonazepam . A friend with OCD takes it when he has episode and he says it works wonders, one pill will make you zombie but usually you can feel ok the next day.

They never gave them to me for whatever reason. I could find them in the black market but thats something I wouldn't risk, so instead stick to alcohol.

I think if your GP is willing to describe them it might be worth a shot.

[starduster]

Thing is though I'm only considering them as an alternative to counselling. I'd much rather have the counselling and not take them at all. I'd get so much more from just talking to a trained counsellor than I think popping a pill could ever do.
I keep waivering though - I'm tempted to just try it but my gut feeling is that it's not right for me. I need therapy. Not pills.

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

You also have to find the right one! I was in counseling for about one year (which I paid myself) it did help a bit, but I think I have so many traumas all trapped in different boxes, that I think I need two weekly sessions: one for my traumas and one for my everyday life.

I saw a perinatal counsellor and she was great. She helped understand a big part of my life in just two hours. She even told me I was too smart for.my own good and that's probably why I clashed with the GPs so much.

There's nothing wrong with medicines but I think a mix of the two is probably best. However pills are trial and error, and it's best if they're prescribed by whoever is giving you therapy. That would be a psychiatrist but with the NHS budget that rarely if ever happens.

Unfortunately the NHS policy is that one size fits all (either fluoxetine or setraline).

[starduster]

I think knowing you have a back up can be as good. I don't need something all the time either, for example I had a crashing low yesterday (a mixture of physical and emotional symptoms: palpitations, dizziness, feeling weak, lethargy, suicidal thoughts, feeling worthless, pointless, powerless, fearful, crippled by my issues). But today my body's obviously had enough, I've been for a long walk in the sunshine and my head feels a bit clearer. I'm not exactly ok but I feel I can manage better today.
I would love a hotline to a therapist when I feel those lows. I just don't know who to talk to when it's that bad. And that makes me feel worse.

[Rainbowhairdontcare]

I've felt exactly like you! And I completely understand why you'd day you'd rather not take any medication.

I know usually it isn't the case but do you have any friends that have gone through anything similar? I was part of FB group and made a couple of acquaintances there who I could talk to if needed.

In all honesty sometime I think we just need to talk to someone regardless of who it is.

[starduster]

So glad you get it, Rainbow. Yes I do have a friend thank goodness who knows exactly what it feels like because she is going through a similar thing. It helps a lot because when she's going through her own version of it, I can support her too.
However, there are always certain things that I'm not comfortable saying to a friend. That's the benefit of going to counselling: you can talk more freely and not feel judged or as nervous about saying certain things.
You can sense when someone 'gets' it and when they don't.