Help....just realised I have anxiety issues!!

[Luby40]

I didn't realise I had it till this morning so joined for some support.....
I realised this morning that I have anxiety issues and it's getting worse!!
I like to think I'm a normal 40 year old, great life....ish! 4 children, work for myself, partner has a good job. Live in the best part of England and love it!! Healthy, great weight...always on a b**dy diet!! But I suffer with anxiety......
My friend died of skin cancer about 8 years ago....I had a mole removed which was fine!
My other friend died of pancreatic cancer 4 years ago......shortly after I was convinced I have liver/kidney problems......had tests, I was fine!
3 years ago and I think this made me worse....I had an abnormal smear, lots of treatments later I was fine!
Last year my friend died of a brain tumour, we both suffered with migraines so I'm convinced I could get it as her first warning sign was a mini stroke so whenever I get headache or a migraine I panic on top!!
2 weeks ago I had some discharge so I was convinced I had cervical cancer, I've had swobs.....all normal!!
Monday I felt a lump in my breast, doctors Tuesday, mammogram 26th.......I'm a mess! I now have tingling in my arm nearly all the time which is almost certainly my anxiety but after googling I'm now dying!!
My partner made me realise this morning that if I need to see the doc about anything then it's about my anxiety!!
I need a seriously large can of man up!!
Seriously though it's ruining my life, I'm ok inbetween episodes but once I get it in my head I've got something I'm a nightmare......I don't sleep properly, I don't eat properly.....I'm a nervous wreck till I get the all clear!!
Someone please tell me they have felt like this and there is a way out?! 🤔

[Peakypolly]

Live in the best part of England and love it!
off topic, but where do you consider to be the best part of England? Genuinely intrigued.
Sorry about the anxiety, I have encountered the same and it is horrible.

[Luby40]

Hey! Its only my opinion but I live in Cornwall.......I absolutely love it!
Sorry if I've offended, I didn't really think.....oops! 😉

[Peakypolly]

Oh no! Not offended at all. Cornwall is lovely and it is so nice to hear someone positive about their location.
( I feel awful I can’t provide any intelligent input to your issue- sorry)

[MaryBoBary]

Don’t be too hard on yourself by saying you need to “man up”. When I first developed anxiety I constantly told people I needed to “just get a grip” because I was a little embarrassed of how much it was affecting me, and didn’t really know anyone with anxiety who would understand and reassure me. Please go to your GP and talk to them specifically about the anxiety. There are different things they can do to help, from counselling and therapies to potentially medication if you felt you needed it, or a combination of different tactics. Just remind yourself that the outcome you want to achieve is to live a happy life without worrying that every small symptom could be a sign of something much more serious. I am developing health anxiety at the moment and have had various blood tests for different potential illnesses, but am starting to face up to it brings a symptom of anxiety and depression that I thought I had for over. I have just gone back on some tablets to help with this.

My first thought was also “ooh, I wonder where OP lives??”

[Totaldogsbody]

Hi OP I'm with your husband, go to the doctor about this. I suffer from depression and stress at times and my doctor put me in touch with a counsellor who helped me realise I was being unreasonable in some of my beliefs, thoughts . It really helped to talk with someone not emotionally involved with me and could see things from a fresh viewpoint. You have had a real hard time during the last 8years which sounds like it has caused this anxiety and need help putting things back into perspective. I hope all goes well with the mammogram and remember the vast majority of lumps turn out to be benign it is quite common for breasts to be a bit lumpy.

[noego]

I suggest you read "The Power of Now" by Eckart Tolle.

Because right here, right now in the present moment you have no issues at all.

[Lemonysherbet]

Don't feel bad about anxiety. You don't need to man up. I've got friends that told me to just pull myself together and that hurt more than anything. If only it was that easy.

I went to the doctor's and talked it all through. Well I more just broke down to her. But I got help and went through CBT and it was great. I'm really bad again now and struggling to see the light but I know.its there somewhere! Honestly speak up for help you won't regret it xx

[Scaredofthedark1986]

I have just posted about health anxiety myself. It’s a horrible thing. I am in the thick of it and waiting for counselling. Definitely go and see your GP. I have had CBT for anxiety before and it helped massively.

[Luby40]

All your posts are so interesting and have really made me realise I'm not alone......I feel for you all, it's so difficult living like this 😘
I feel a lot better and I really want to talk to my gp but I don't want to tell the receptionist and I can't get an appointment if I don't!!

[MondeoFan]

I'm the same as you OP I had a friend die of DVT so when I go on holiday I always panic about getting DVT too. Another friend died of Pneumonia she was only 36 I been back and forwards to doctors this year to have laryngitis confirmed and I've had it 7 weeks at present, I worry it'll turn into pneumonia. I had 2 ops for skin cancer last year it's basal cell so not as worrying as melanoma.
I'm a single parent so I think that adds to my anxiety

[Luby40]

You sound like you've been through a nightmare!!
I can completely understand how it can be worse for single parents as I do think at least they have my partner......Im even a nightmare about just me and OH going out on our own in case something happens to both of us and then the children are alone, I make us take the train instead of driving as it's safer 😢
Have you told your gp?

[MondeoFan]

I did have a 6 weeks CBT around 4 years ago but I didn't think it helped that much. She told me when I get a worry I need to question whether anything can be done about it and if it can't I need to put it into a worry pocket to worry about it later, my time for worrying was between 9pm-10pm at night and I should try not to worry during day at all.
When I'm at work I don't have time to think about anything but once I'm off I'm back to anxiety again.
So I def think keeping busy is the key.

[Luby40]

I feel your pain.......I lay in bed at night and it's all I think about!!

[Lemonysherbet]

I used to have some really good techniques to cope saved in my phone but it crashed and wiped them 😑 a few things I do remember though are stopping to think about if they're realistic or unrealistic thoughts. Just take a moment to try and work out if it's worth worrying over and something you can control or not.

Another short term one I love is breathing squares. This is more for panic attacks but just find a square around you, breathe in as you go along the top, hold down, breathe out along the bottom and hold on the way back up. It's the one I use the most oddly!

[SprinklesandDust]

I have no idea if this helps or not, but I used to suffer from health anxiety. Nothing serious, just a background feeling I might get cancer one day, googling symptoms etc. Then I actually had a sudden life changing event. When I say sudden I am talking serious. I sat in hospital on my own after being delivered the news. My mind went blank like a small explosion had gone off. I was aware of being completely alone. Then a little voice inside me said mmm ok this has happened, this will be okay (it has to be, because it's not the end YET right?), how am I going to deal with it, ok what's the next step. Now I look on it as I have faced the worst possible thing ever imagined in adulthood, and I am actually okay. Braver. Not sure if that helps. There is always a plan and a team of fucking great staff. I would think that worrying about symptoms (something you can control) is a deflection from thinking about things you can't (death, other what ifs).

Information is key as when you have information you can make a plan. Without that the mind goes fucking nuts. If you've had a sesh on Google (we all do it) you'll have lots more unanswered questions. Put a limit on Google. Write a list of all of the health questions to ask at your next appointment. Goals to focus on in mean time - sleeping, eating and emptying your mind.

[Luby40]

Wow! I don't know what to say.......
I'm so glad your here to tell your story and thank you for sharing it with me!
When I hear of people who have actually been diagnosed and have dealt with it I feel more ashamed I worry over everything....
Since this thread I have started to think differently.....I try and talk myself out of the negative and straight away start doing something or start reading........
I can't stop thinking of you bring alone, it must have been hell for you......big hugs x