How do I stop obsessing? Anxiety ruins my life

[thewatergirl]

Hiya,

Posted on AIBU about this but I've got anxiety and it absolutely runs my life. Last/current incident is the final straw and I need some help coping and then beating this.

This will probably sound daft but I'm having namer's remorse over my son's name. Had a name I always loved, didn't use it purely due to fucking social anxiety. Excuse language but I'm so angry at myself. Is my husband's football mate's name, literally told my husband before we registered our DS "I desperately want to name him X but your football mate would take the piss, probably shouldn't" and I was actually in tears about it so we went with my DH's favorite name (which later he admitted he liked both names equally)

Regretted it ever since and now it has turned into a full blown obsession and it's all I think about sun up to sun down, thinking to myself "you let your social anxiety dictate this decision because you were afraid of what DH's friend would think". Will we even bloody well know this lad in 2 years? Doubt it. Plus DS's current name, I don't know why but it makes me stiffen each time I hear it. My mum said DS's current name the other day when we were in an argument and I actually said back without thinking "that's not his name!"

God bless DH he says we can change DS's name to the one I originally wanted.

You'd think I would be happy. Nope. Now I am agonising over this decision. I think since I made a daft choice in the first place now I don't trust myself to change it (DS is 12 weeks) and I feel it's too late. Now I feel like I'm going to regret the decision to change it to my original choice and feel like an utter fool over all of it and will have this "incident" haunt me forever.

I feel that if I leave it as-is I would have just let the anxiety win but now at this point I've become a bit attached to the name and keep asking myself "Will I feel better if it's changed" "How do I know this is not just another obsession" "I've let my family down" "don't be daft" etc.

I am so deep into this obsession and anxiety that I am having anxiety over the possibility of having anxiety!

F my life I'm so bloody exhausted over all this and I just want to be happy.

Have any of you experienced thought processes like these and how do you fix them? I am going in to therapy and I'll see my GP for meds as well, but would really appreciate hearing back.

[MemoryOfSleep]

I try to rationalise them. It's normal to be concerned over choosing a name someone will have to live with their whole life. But as long as the name isn't really out there the kid won't care.