Mental breakdown or just a horrible guy?

thesix · 2018-04-26 22:40:15

I have posted about this once before on MN and found it so helpful. I’m now a few weeks down the line on my original post and I wanted to be able to put it differently. I met my husband when we were 19, we’re now in our mid-30’s so I’ve known him most of my adult life. Our relationship had the standard ups and downs but nothing too crazy. He has a hard time keeping a job - In the past two years he has probably only worked a couple of months. Reasons range from lying on his cv (this was a low point) and being caught, to short term things coming to a natural end. I’ve always stuck by him and supported us both when things got really tight. I’m not saying I didn’t have the odd nag about finding something else but by in large I kept it to myself. 4 weeks ago out of the blue he told me he didn’t want to be married anymore. We hadn’t had an argument or anything, he just said it. And then left. Trying to make sense of it I went into his phone account and saw he had been calling another girl for hours at a time early in the morning and late at night so I am sure that this has something to do with it all. He denied it and said it was a friend. After that stopped all contact and won’t talk to me about anything - the house; our elderly dog; nothing. I tried to stop texting or calling altogether but sent maybe 2 per week. Cut to 4 weeks later on our wedding anniversary I guess I had hoped he would speak with me. He didn’t. Instead a friend of a friends husband had seen him walking hand in hand with another girl. I immediately got my back up and texted him about it, really text him. I said if he wouldn’t speak to me I was going to have to call his mum. He called me and he basically screamed at me for 50 minutes about how he wasn’t doing anything wrong. People were talking rubbish and they are terrible friends to do that on my anniversary. In addition he was just almost talking nonsense - none of this is his fault, it’s my decision if I chose to be upset, he hasn’t treated my badly, I’m a selfish 🐮 for staying in the house when I could stay at my parents... I came off totally bewildered. Is it possible he has had a mental breakdown? I have had to warn everyone I know not to rub him up the wrong way by basically telling them I am completely fine. I’m not really but I’m scared of what he’d do and also worried that he had had some kind of mental snap and that I should be trying to take care of him/ be his friend? I’m all over the place

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Mental health

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Thanks to all who posted - we're taking this thread down at the request of the OP.