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How to survive a partners mental health issues?

(6 Posts)
user1482177776 Fri 06-Oct-17 20:28:53

How to survive a partners mental health issues?

My girlfriend is in her early 20s. She’s beautiful, intelligent, charming and has a great job. However, her mental health is causing so much strife. I don’t know if I can cope any longer. I have no idea who I will come home to in the evening. My happy girlfriend who I adore or a person that makes me miserable.

I do my best to be supportive and patient but if she’s in a bad way, an argument is inevitable. I can tell within 30s of getting in the house.

I don’t know how to deal with it? I can’t do it any longer. Our relationship can’t move to the next step because my/our life is so up and down. It’s making me so miserable but I want to make it work.

Its difficult to explain but sometimes she’s literally a different person. Nasty, picky, argumentative. She will be nasty to me but most of all negative about herself. If she has a spot or nothing to wear, it’ll be hell all day.

She has been diagnosed with mental health issues. I’ve convinced her to take tablets a few times and I’ve seen a massive improvement but she doesn’t like taking them.

Can someone please help?

NolongerAnxiousCarer Fri 06-Oct-17 20:56:16

It can be really tough supporting someone with their MH problems. Ultimately she has to be the one to make the decision to accept/seek help for her mental health be that medication or therapy. No one can force her to do this, but you can explain the impact of these things on you and your relationship. Only you can decide if you are able to continue with the relationship. I know if my DH had not accepted support and medication and taken responsibility for managing his mental health condition then I would not have been able to continue our relationship.

Sorry I know thats not really what you were looking for.

My other suggestion if to talk to her about what she feels would help avoid the arguments etc are they part of her mental health issues or are they part of something else e.g. relationship problems?

Fauchelevent Fri 06-Oct-17 21:17:32

I have MH issues. It’s correct to support her but be mindful that there are no excuses for abusive behaviour. You don’t have to accept it as part and parcel of mh problems.

junebirthdaygirl Fri 06-Oct-17 21:34:45

She needs to take responsibility for her behaviour . If that means taking tablets she has to do it. Otherwise you need to go as its not fair her putting all this on you and doing nothing. She can have counselling etc but ultimately its up to her to access these things.
My dh has bipolar and he knows medication or lm gone. He found it difficult at first as only diagnosed in his 40s but realised if he wants to have a regular life he has to do his part. And he is doing very well since.

user1482177776 Fri 06-Oct-17 22:38:24

We’ve been together a few years and in that time she has spoken to several doctors and tried several drugs.

The drugs have worked but she doesn’t like taking them as they make her feel sick. She is always very elusive, so it’s hard to track. I feel like I shouldn’t force her to but I know it helps.

There’s one other thing that really troubles me.

Our worst times are always on her special days. If she gets good news, it’s her birthday, whatever.... seems to be a trigger for the worst of our arguments. She says I’m not happy for her, that I’m sabotaging her.

Has anyone experienced that type of behaviour?

Thank you for your comments. It’s been a really rough few weeks and to know other people have gone through similar issues really helps.

speakSoftly Fri 20-Oct-17 11:21:14

Hi. You might find this website useful. outofthefog.website/traits
The behaviour you have described sounds very typical of a personality disorder. I understand your troubles. Feel free to pm me as I am in a similar situation. Take care of yourself x

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