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Don't think I can carry on

(4 Posts)
Iris65 Thu 05-Oct-17 12:15:39

I have just split up from my partner. He owns the house and has told me to leave. I am now officially jobless and homeless. When I. ove out I have to leave my cat as I will have to rent. I don't have enough to buy anywhere.
I also have a life threatening heart problem and major depressive disorder, along with chronic pain, adenomyosis, irritable bowel and other ailments.
In the last few years this is what has happened:
September Father moved into hospice care
August made redundant.
July moved house for the fourth time in four years.
June: attended leaving event at work; emptied office; major disagreement with sister.
May: partner attempted suicide; dealing with house move and given redundancy notice.
April: called to London as son binge drinking, self harming and threatening suicide.
March: father in law died; travel to Holland for father in law's funeral
February: travelled to Holland as father in law gravely ill.
January - moved out of flat, belongings in storage.
January- April three episodes of bronchitis and tonsillitis.
October 2016: bought house; department review; satisfactory observation; asked about ill health retirement/redundancy
September 2016: back to work.
August 2016: reconciliation with partner
February 2016: moved into flat
January 2016: relationship breakdown
September 2015: returned to work after 12 months absence following two suicide attempts (part time and reduced responsibility. No support offered)
April 2015: suicide attempt #3 (hotel/alcohol/drugs/self harm/bath run)
February 2015: discharged from psychiatry
Assessed at PDU - not appropriate stream
November 2014: discharged from day hospital
September 2014: discharged from inpatient
August 2014: suicide attempt #2; (railway platform) voluntary patient on locked ward
June 2014: suicide attempt #1 (attempted hanging)
2013 ongoing divorce/house sale
December 2013: left husband
November 2013 drug overdose (just wanted to sleep)
October 2013: Dog euthanised
August 2013: Dad diagnosed with cancer
June 2013: cardiac surgery
December 2012: mother in ITU
May - October 2012: son has breakdown
2011-2013 ongoing bullying and dispute at work

I have reached the point where I am struggling not to take all of the pills that I have - more than enough to make sure I never wake up. People say I have to stay around for my son and for other people. But what if my life is literally unbearable?

Vitalogy Thu 05-Oct-17 12:22:03

You've had a terrible lot to deal with over the years.
Regarding your housing situation, could you get in touch with your local council about accommodation or the charity Shelter.

Iris65 Thu 05-Oct-17 12:27:06

Thanks Vitalogy.

Vitalogy Thu 05-Oct-17 13:04:49

That's alright. Bumping this thread, I'm sure more people can come up with other ideas too. Best wishes.

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