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Ds thinks he is so ugly

(9 Posts)
hugoagogo Sun 28-May-17 13:08:21

Ds thinks he is so ugly he should kill himself.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Mon 29-May-17 18:51:17

You need to get him to the GP to get some help for him. If you think its more immediate that he may hurt himself then either take him to A&E or call 999. Either way he needs some professional support.

hugoagogo Mon 29-May-17 19:24:17

He has been to the gp, but keeps putting off getting help because of his exams. ( which boggles my mind) He is 18 so we can't really make him.

I try not to talk to him about how he looks as it always ends up with a row.
I wish I could help him more, but he doesn't think he needs help- in his mind he is ugly, so of course he is miserable and worthless. sad

Aggieisback1 Tue 30-May-17 17:23:08

What is it about his looks he doesn't like?

SafeToCross Tue 30-May-17 17:32:16

Have you looked at websites about body dysmorphia? Things I would suggest would be stepping away from social media, reduce mirror use or appearance checking (as these can maintain feeling bad about yourself), build on other sources of self-esteem. For family, don't argue with his feelings, acknowledge them, but be firm that you don't see what he sees, and want him to feel less preoccupied with his appearance. Help him keep a routine that includes family and social time, and not avoiding things too much.

hugoagogo Wed 31-May-17 20:09:02

Yes body dysmorphia/anxiety/depression seem to be the most likely causes.
Selfishly I am at the point where I need a more stable home life for me! For my dh and my other dc. Dd's issues are horrible for him and I want him to get help but can't force him- I feel ransomed to his feelings.
It would be wrong of me to kick him out or even to tell him how much it's hurting me, but it's ok for him to call me all the names under the sun, to spit at me, to damage my things and to never allow me to relax in my own home because at any moment he could kick off.

Privateandconfidentialplease Wed 31-May-17 22:52:59

Poor ds. (And you) he must be hurting so much but you can't carry on living like that. Have you been to the dr and asked them for advice on this. Might be worth it.

NolongerAnxiousCarer Sat 03-Jun-17 12:15:06

No his behaviour is not acceptable regardless of any underlying mental health problem and he needs to know that. Only you can decide regarding kicking him out although doing this when you know he's struggling/suicidal may be risky. I agree with PP, could you speak to his GP about your concerns? They can't give you any confidential information about him, but theres nothing to stop them listening to your concerns. Also if you book him an appointment would he be likely to attend? As a last resort you could explain how his behaviour is affecting you all and give him a choice, seeing the Dr or moving out.

hugoagogo Sun 18-Jun-17 14:14:17

It doesn't get any better sadgin

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