Advanced search

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently, see our mental health web guide which can point you to expert advice.

Overthinking and the need for talk/reassurance -what's wrong with me?

(9 Posts)
Redfluffysocks Thu 18-May-17 10:05:42

Sorry if this is a long one but just wondering if anyone can relate. In reality I have not much to worry about, nice home, family, enough money etc and I muddle along quite nicely most of the time but every so often something upsets me and I quickly become quite obsessed with it and think about it constantly. I want to talk about what's bothering me all the time and want to be reassured that everything will be ok. When I get the reassurance I am happy for a while but it's still on my mind nearly all of the time.It's usually things I have no control over, e.g. I posted on the higher education section about my current worry and I was thrilled with the reassurance I got from a couple of the posters and grateful for the practical advice I got from the others. Still it's on my mind though and I can't shake the "what if" scenarios.
But anyway, although I feel the need to talk, I don't/can't in real life. Except to Dh who is good but does not just tell me it will be ok (he is not a worrier and must be tired of me) and I don't talk to friends in detail about my worries as I feel stupid worrying about things that they would probably just shrug off and not let it affect their lives so much. I don't want to burden my mum, who is in her late 70's and I don't want to appear pathetic. So I bottle things up ☹️
What can I do to stop being like this. I don't want to go to the docs as I don't want medication for something that is not constant. I've had a short course of telephone cbt but didn't engage with it. I want to relax and go with the flow and not dwell on things and make myself, at times, sick with worry.
I'm very well read on the subject of anxiety and know what I should be doing to help myself but cannot seem to put it into practice. Maybe I should look into some other kind of therapy.
Thanks for reading these ramblings.

michelle303 Thu 18-May-17 11:01:01

Sorry that you're going through this. Would you be up to seeing your GP so they can offer other therapy options to you? Have you considered face to face CBT?


Redfluffysocks Thu 18-May-17 14:40:33

Thanks. I don't know what i want, only that in have got to stop catastrophising when something unpleasant happens and get on with enjoying life. I know the idea of cbt is good, and I understand what it's all about but I maybe need some sort of support group. Are there such things or have I been watching too much tv 😁.
The thought of having one to one sessions with a therapist fills me with horror so why I think I would be any better in a group I don't know. Thats why I post on places like this coz it's like a giant support group.

Purplecarpet Thu 18-May-17 18:14:13

I'm much the same OP. I bottle things up. It's such hard work putting on a false happy face for the world when inside you are in knots. Ive been on medication in the past but I don't think it's the answer for me. I've got to change my negative thought processes, which I believe is what cbt is all about. Maybe one on one cbt could help but where I live there is a massive waiting list for this on the NHS, although telephone cbt is easier to access.

Redfluffysocks Fri 19-May-17 08:17:14

Thanks. I feel like such an idiot and that I'm the only person like this. Sure people get upset over things but they move on and don't let it take over them and make them miserable like me.
I don't know what's worse. Having anxiety and not knowing why or having this and being perfectly happy and optimistic one day then bam, you receive some news or something happens and then I can think of nothing else. I need a good kick up the arse!

Purplecarpet Sat 20-May-17 09:31:02

I want to answer and give some comfort/ advice as I know what its like. What about local Mind? Why are you so adverse to medication?

Redfluffysocks Mon 22-May-17 07:08:21

Thank you. I am really struggling at the moment, not helped as I was at a function at the weekend and drank too much and that is never a good idea when not feeling right.
I can feel myself slipping again and feel pretty bad. I don't want to go to work, see anyone and put on a front. Thinking aboit excuses to make to get out of a planned night out. Supposed to be booking a holiday - don't want to go etc. Appetite gone. That horrible fluttery feeling in my chest all the time.
I am not totally adverse to medication but I know I will get over my current set of worries when they resolve themselves in time, one way or another. I haven't felt this bad for a long time as well and its not constant with me so I'll get over it. I would like something short term but antidepressants are not to be stopped and started like that and honestly im too embarassed to go to gp. Done telephone cbt and it didnt help. Meanwhile, I don't know what to do with myself sad

Redfluffysocks Sun 28-May-17 09:40:32

Probably shows what kind of marriage I have if Dh won't try and say anything to make me feel better. He won't tell me things will be ok coz "he's not that kind of person" but ffs just lie and reassure me ☹️

Purplecarpet Mon 29-May-17 09:36:27

Sorry that you seem to be so down at the moment. Ive read and replied to your posts in the past about other stuff and it seems it all stems from the same anxious place inside. Im no expert and I'm not much use and its a shame you didnt get more replies other than me and Michelle. Maybe its time to just admit to others that you are struggling but I sympathise with you.

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: