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Need a handhold or maybe a grip

(12 Posts)

MNHQ have commented on this thread.

Iloveteamilknosugar Wed 12-Apr-17 09:59:40

-nc but a regular-

I am feeling so low today. I suffer from depression and anxiety and have for some time - years in fact. But lately I had gotten a hold on it. I felt "OK" Not good but OK.

I went to bed at 6.50pm last night as my husband and DS had fallen asleep on the sofa. I woke at 9pm as heard husband moving around then turned over and went back to sleep til DS woke at 5am shouting for medicine as he had tummy ache. Got to work with a feeling that I was extremely hungover - dry mouth, headache, fuzzy head - despite not having a drink since Sat.

Asked a colleague not to switch the coffee machine on today and could they please use instant instead as the smell give sme headache. Colleague snapped back that they were putting it on as usual. I retorted with "I am requesting you don't because it gives me headache - are you putting it on or not" Colleague said my attitude stinks lately and they were taking up up further. I tried to explain but they were having none of it. Went back upstairs and burs into tears. I usually get on well with this colleague. Yes they are going through some shit but I am too. My DF has again been referred to local CPN due to his MH issues and I am worried about my parents.

Colleague came and apologised, said to forget it and saw me upset.

Have taken some paracetamol at 7am for my headache this morning,- have just taken some more and some ibuprofen and whilst looking at the packet thought it would be so easy to just take them all.

WTF is wrong with me today

cushioncovers Wed 12-Apr-17 10:03:00

Have you been to see your gp? Are you on meds or having some talking therapy? Can you take a few days off work and give yourself a break? flowersflowers

PurpleDaisies Wed 12-Apr-17 10:03:29

It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate at the moment. When was the last time you saw your gp about your anxiety/depression?

Iloveteamilknosugar Wed 12-Apr-17 10:06:10

I am on fluoextine - have been for a few months. Have previously been long term on citalopram (and found them to no effect eventually), changing to sertraline (which made me worse). I have had some counselling and am awaiting CBT but as it's within the NHS, I have no idea how long my referral would take.

I am due a few days off from this evening with tomorrow by myself - which I have craved for a long time - time to myself - but I am also scared of being alone.

I'm ashamed to admit that I felt like taking the whole pack....

PurpleDaisies Wed 12-Apr-17 10:10:37

Don't feel ashamed about feeling down-you just need some help.

If you're feeling like you might hurt yourself you need to speak to someone medical. Could you try and get an emergency appointment tomorrow?

Does your husband know how you're feeling at the moment?

KarmaNoMore Wed 12-Apr-17 10:14:28

I tend to get "hungover headaches" even when I don't drink. They are normally related to sleeping in a position that my neck doesn't aprove of. Normally I feel better after stretching my neck as you would do in Pilates and having a combination of paracetamol and ibuprofen (within the right dose limit).

I am sorry you are feeling like that and agree that some consideration needs to be given by your colleagues to the fact you are ill and are having a difficult time, but if your stress and sensitivity have been afecting other people for a long time, it is not surprising it comes to a point that they snap and say no.

Everybody has their own problems and they can be more severe than yours, so although they may look to you as if they are ok and they should be more empathetic you need to return that empathy by making your best to feel better.

If your current dose of AS is not enough, go back to the doctor. It is not about getting a grip, you are trying hard but you additional help to make you feel better.

Crispbutty Wed 12-Apr-17 10:16:21

I sometimes feel like that when I have had too much sleep.

KarmaNoMore Wed 12-Apr-17 10:17:27

Sorry, I just saw your last reply and that you have got already a lot of help in place. So I take that back.

Iloveteamilknosugar Wed 12-Apr-17 10:26:48

My husband is part of the problem - in the kindest way possible. The dynamics of our home have changed due to his hours being cut and he is under a lot of stress and pressure because of that. A pride thing I suppose because he has said in the past he worries he cannot provide for us which is bobbins

I don't think I would hurt myself but its just the fact the thought even entered my mind upsets me.

KatherineMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 12-Apr-17 10:52:53

Hello OP, we are really sorry to hear you are feeling this way.

We hope you don't mind, but when these threads are flagged up to us we usually add a link to our Mental Health resources. You can also go to the Samaritans website, or email them on Support from other Mumsnetters is great and we really hope you will be able to take some comfort from your fellow posters, but as other MNers will tell you, it's really a good idea to seek RL help and support as well.

We also like to remind everyone that, although we're awed daily by the astonishing support our members give each other through life's trickier twists and turns, we'd always caution anyone never to give more of themselves to another poster, emotionally or financially, than they can afford to spare.

We are going to move this thread to the Mental Health section shortly.

Iloveteamilknosugar Wed 12-Apr-17 10:54:33

I need to chase up my CBT I think....

NolongerAnxiousCarer Wed 12-Apr-17 14:05:49

Going back to your GP sounds like a good plan. Also think about what self care you can do on your days off, exercise, sleep, meditation, hobbies. Whatever works for you.

I know how scary it is when we have these thoughts its good to be able to share them. Samaritans 116 123 or email is a good place for support too.

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