I'm r on a downward spiral. Can anyone help me feel like I'm not drowning?

[ShootFruit]

Hi, I've been struggling on and off with anxiety and depression for a long time. Lately I feel so numb. Like I'm messing up my life and pushing everyone I care about because I isolate myself so much because of my anxiety. Sometimes I don't even want to speak. Everything is in go slow. The only thing that keep me going are my dc and I feel like I'm failing them by just scraping by and and doing the minimum. Dp left in Feb and ever since then I've not been careful enough to let my mental health affect me. I feel so bad for the kids and such a crap mum. But I'm trying so hard to do my best by them. They won't be little for long and I feel like their childhood isnt what I expected to do for them.

I feel overwhelmed this morning, gave them breakfast in bed, with me had a lie in until ten. Played and danced to YouTube songs with the youngest. Had a shower myself, painted my nails and planning on heading out somewhere with them today. It just feels like a constant impossible task to keep my head about water and feel ok.

Any suggestions, or similar experiences? I just felt I had to get this out. I've withdrawn so much I don't really speak to anyone in RL

[NolongerAnxiousCarer]

Have you seen your GP? That would be my first port of call. I've suffered with depression in the past and ADs and councelling have really helped.

[ShootFruit]

Not recently. I've been on serteraline and had cbt.

[NolongerAnxiousCarer]

I would go back to your GP for a review. Are you still on the serterline? It may be they need to review your dose.

[ShootFruit]

No I'm not, I'll make an appointment tomorrow. Thank you! I just needed to get all that out.