The nights are the hardest

[LittleMissPassiveAggressive]

When I feel like I'm finally getting my s&#t together and my life is finally becoming "normal" my damn brain f*$ks it up for me!
I am finding myself constantly thinking about self harm and killing myself. Nothing bad has happened lately but my head seems to be all over the place and it's messing me up!
The worst time is night. When my family are sleeping I am wide awake thinking about how useless and worthless I am.
Without trying to sound crazed, there is a voice in my head that tells me how disgusting I am and what a disappointment I too. All the bad thoughts that I experience don't feel like they're my own, it's like someone else is saying it to me.
I'm on medication for depression and anxiety, and until recently I feel like they were doing a good job. But now it seems like I'm low all the time, especially in the silence of the night.
I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it. How I'm meant to tackle this.
I have a CPN and I'm under the mental health team, but when I tell my CPN things like this it gets dismissed.
My GP just tells me to talk to my CPN, it's like a vicious circle!
I'm so irritated and angry with myself for getting into this situation again!
Sorry to go on with myself. It seems that all I'm good for is moaning.
Thanks for reading.

[Itisnoteasybeingdifferent]

Nighttime thoughts can keep you awake.... look at the time I am writing!!

[AnxiousCarer]

I think night time is worse as there are less distractions. The difficult thoughts seem even louder when things are quiet. Remember you can call samaritans or email them any time.

I find meditation, mindfulness and guided relaxation tracks help me to quiet my mind when those thoughts are troublesome.