stuck between rock and a hard place

[roseteapot101]

my name is jo i suffer from depression and anxiety.I got so worked up last year with my anxiety i made myself physically ill,i almost suffered a panic attack at the dentist and then at christmas i almost broke down in the supermarket.I am about to be made homeless there is nothing i can do.Having a home were i feel safe is very important as this is were i hide.I find new and unfamiliar places terrifying.Yet i feel safe going out with my other half.Now with the threat of homeless i feel my mind unravelling.

what does not help ,I have had depression for so long i cannot remember the last time i felt true excitement .I was at a family members wedding last year and felt no joy nor could i join in with my family.Its been like this for the longest time i have lost several members of my close family members over the past few years and it seems i have now forgotten what it was like to truly laugh or get excited over something.I am not sure how much more i can take.

Its not like my life is bad apart from being made homeless i have a loving partner and child.

But this really does not help and as a result i cannot cope with my anxiety.
Now if i go to the doctor and ask for help here is the problem .

I go by myself i risk a very bad panic attack or i go with my partner and i am to nervous to to open up.I cannot open up to extent i need for the doctor to understand my problem when hes around.Its just that i feel terrified of upsetting my partner he already has the stress of everything,low wages,high bills,homeless he needs me to be strong so that he can cope.

So i need to go back on my medication so i can handle how hard its going to get.But going by myself is hard ,i am terrified of using a phone .Just going in once by myself is going to make me very ill yet i have to physically go in to book the appointment.

I really dont know what to do

[AnxiousCarer]

My DH has serious MH problems. I've recently had a bad patch with PTSD and anxiety. We have also been homeless. So I can see it from both sides. I know what it's like to feel you have to be the strong one and keep how bad you are feeling to yourself. I also know how much better I felt when I finally told DH how bad things had got for me. I also know that I prefer to know how bad things are for DH rather than thinking hes coping having no warning beforehe gets to crisis point and then suddenly having to deal with him in melt down and the fall out that goes with it.

Another bit of advice is to let the housing office know about your MH needs with evidence if possible. When DHs CPN went to the housing office with him he got moved up 2bands and got tempory accommodation (flat not b&b) in a week and perminant accommodation in 2 weeks.

to you its a horrible situation to be in.