Anxiety - is it time to see a GP?

[bear28]

I have suffered from anxiety and panic attacks for years but it has never been as bad as it is now. I know my issue - Fear of dying and being completely out of control.

I get myself wound up that something bad will happen so i don't do it. I go to work and I can handle that and I am pretty normal but outside of work i am a nervous wreck and i didn't used to be!

My partner works away 3 months at a time and we are moving into our new house in July but I cannot stop feeling so anxious. I am so scared that something is going to happen to me whilst he is away and he won't be able to get home to me in time. Every time I get in my car I think "I could be in a crash today". I am scared that something could happen which could affect our future and I am at the point where I won't go out at the weekends because it is not worth the risk.

Every day is different but today is by far the worst. I spoke with my partner (extremely supportive), explained everything that is in my head and he said he never realised how bad it is and I need to go to the doctors.

Years ago I went to the doctors and was put on amitriptyline but i was very sensitive and had bad reactions to them. I have since tried herbal medications and am currently trying Valerium (also herbal) - the only effects of this so far is it helps me sleep. I had diazepam once for a flight but it didn't even touch the edges and i still had a panic attack on the flight.

When i think about where my mind was after everything, in know it is so stupid and illogical but at the time i am anxious, everything is blown out of proportion and makes perfect sense.

I am scared to go to the doctors, a) incase i just completely break down and burst into tears and cant get any words out. b) they don't take me seriously enough and i get fobbed off.

Can anyone please fill me with hope and success stories that there really is an end to the dark tunnel. Thanks so much.

[bluejelly]

Oh you poor thing I think you should definitely go to the GP. I am also planning to go to the Dr about my anxiety and it sounds far less serious than yours. Living your life frightened of dying is not normal. If you are worried that you won't be able to explain in properly then make some notes before you go. Then you can always hand it to them.
I'm sure they will take it seriously and recommend appropriate treatment - anxiety is so common you won't be the first case they've seen by any means.

Nb great that you can share this with your partner - that's a really positive first step. Please try not to feel overwhelmed- you will get through this.

[bear28]

Thank you so much for your positive words bluejelly its so strange when we all go through this we truly feel alone but we aren't. My friends have started to notice my anxiety also which doesn't help (i have a friend that always brings it up and it makes it so much worse talking about it with her) but has made me recognise that I really need to get help. My partner and I want to get married and have kids in the not so far future but in my mind, we cant do that whilst I am struggling daily with even going out! I will take your advice and write things down for them as I know i will forget half of the issues. Fingers crossed everything goes well for you also!

[AnxiousCarer]

Definately go and see your GP, you could print out your post and take that or thete are some anxiety questionnaires onlinenyou could compleye and take with you.

[bluejelly]

Thank you bear. Please don't lose hope - anxiety is eminently treatable and you will find the 'clear blue sky' on the other side. (I've had 3 bouts of it in my life - each time treated with short courses of talking therapy. But this 4th time is worse than ever, which is why I'm going to the dr. )

[Seagullslanding]

Hi bear. It took a couple of visits/talks with my GP for me. At first I tried to convince myself that my severe heartburn and indigestion was stress and that I had it under control. On his advice I took up counseling privately. This has highlighted how bad my anxiety really is, I've been kidding myself.

Last Friday I went back to the GP and admitted the heartburn tablets weren't really helping. He offered me anti depressants. I think it was a combination of the fact I am trying to solve the real underlying issues that he offered them me, I think me repeatedly asking if I was going to die might have helped as well.

I'm now on day 2 of the tablets. I'm off work and start a new job in 10 days
Hopefully I'll be a bit less anxious by then
This board has helped, so stay around.

Why don't you show the doctor a copy of your post?

[bear28]

Thank you so much for your support Anxious Bluejelly Seagullslanding
Yeah I will print this off and show my GP, my SIL has recommended the doctor she sees, he takes her seriously so that gives a bit of peace of mind for going.

seagullslanding I didn't once consider heartburn could be from stress. I suffer from it severely and take medication for it, I will bring that up also. How are you finding the antidepressants? I know the doctors issue them for anxiety as well but I don't know if i want to commit to that route. I will speak to him and see what his recommendations are and also look into counselling. Hope the new job goes well for you!!

[Cinnamon2013]

Anxiety is a spectrum and everyone is somewhere on it. If it's making you unhappy it's time to seek help. I've always been a worrier. Every day I think I'm going to die, car crash etc. It's kind of crap but also ok. It's who I am. But it got worse with new baby so now I'm having having CBT. i guess what I'm trying to say is - if you can tolerate it, cool. If not, treat it. Personally I'd never take medication because as well as making me miserable sometimes, anxiety has also been the driver behind most things I've ever achieved, especially professionally. It's a tricky one.

[Blossomdeary]

Hey - if you break down and burst into tears, then they will take you seriously! - so neither is a valid worry.

Seriously they are used to dealing with this sort of thing every day - I speak as a GP's wife and someone who has suffered from depression and wept buckets in a GP's surgery - so do go and get the help you need and hopefully you will be feeling better soon.

[Seagullslanding]

Bear - my heartburn has become extremely severe, i have been convincing myself that i have some svere illness. About 6 weeks ago i was in work and i received an email inviting me to a job interview, i immediately panicked trying to work out how i could get out of work to attend it. At the very same time the severe heartburn hit - i then realised the link. If you google stress/anxiety and heartburn you'll see its extremely common.

Im very lucky that i have a supportive OH, and so he is helping me adapt to the medicine. I know for me i need to take them. My anxiety has been building up for a number of years. In the past like Cinnamon has said it was a bit of a driver for me.

Since the birth of my youngest 4 years ago, things have changed. Im lucky to still be alive after her birth. That has had a big impact. I then had a big fight with my then employer which took its toll and i settled out of court (Maternity related). Since then Ive been working part time in low level jobs. Unfortunately a few have not been nice employers and I have suffered 2 cases of unfairness/bullying. This has all built up and up to where i am now. It doesnt help that OH will be made redundant next week.

I am currently having CBT, that is helping. The counsellor has strongly recommended the book Mindfulness - a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world by Mark Williams.

[bear28]

Thank you all for your support. I've got an appointment at the doctors. I wanted to see a specific doctor but they aren't available for 6 weeks and the same for my second choice. I have now got an appointment with a Registrar for in 2 weeks time. Are they going to be as effective as a doctor? My concern is that they cant make as authoritative decisions as a doctor but I am really not sure.

The receptionist advised me that I can call up in the morning if its bad and get an appointment for that day but i don't want to risk getting a doctor I had a few years ago about my migraines (that completely fobbed me off). Just not sure I can hold it together until 8th.

[bear28]

Oh I meant to add, I have written everything down today. From past episodes to how i feel on day to day life.

Seagullslanding I am glad to hear that you have a supportive OH, it really does make a huge difference. Whilst my partner works away, he knows me so well and knows exactly how to help me calm down and be there for me. I also found I used to be so driven and would do anything (even did aerobatics about 8 years ago) but now i am the bipolar opposite of how I used to be which i hate to say.

Sorry to hear you have had issues with your previously employers, the stress of that does not help and I find unfortunately in the world we are in today, these issues that you have had, have not been taken seriously enough and it has clearly had a huge impact on your anxiety and mind.

I will definitely buy the book Mindfulness, maybe that will help me to keep going until my appointment.

My friend has been sending me links to combat fears but she really doesn't understand how out of control it is and how i really feel. I cannot talk to her about it properly, she is one of these people that is always living life to the max and travelling the world and very pro active with her days. She cant understand why there are times why i just don't want to go out of the house. And whilst I appreciate her sending me links and it shows she cares and wants to support me, i have taken a small step back from her by not discussing this with her because unfortunately, she just doesn't get it.

[darknessontheedgeoftown]

bear I am really sorry to hear about your anxiety but you are far from alone. You have already taken perhaps the hardest step by admitting it to yourself. I have suffered with it for years. Do you know how much better you made me feel because you wrote about stuff that I recognise? Not that I wish it on you of course not. I freak out if I cannot get in touch with a loved one and catastrophise to the point of imagining what I will wear to their funeral. Then I find out they just left their phone at home. As a child whenever pre mobile phone my parents were inexplicably back late I would do the same and make all sorts of vows to God as to what I would do good if he let them live. I had a panic attack on holiday and was convinced it was a heart attack then talked myself into going for a run just to see if I could cope having already spoken to a paramedic and declined an ambulance. The terror in my mind and the awful knot of tightness in my stomach is bloody hard to deal with. For me nice scenery, exercise, Citalopram and writing for therapy plus burying myself in practical tasks have all helped at various times. By far far far away the most effective thing for me has been to contact other sufferers. There is nothing "wrong" with you you are a perfect and beautiful creature as we all are underneath, just some people need extra support and tweaking to put up with a modern world that seems designed to make life hell for those of us in this club. DM me if you want to know more. I cannot answer the registrar question but be assured a good health professional will take this very seriously. Much love and hugs.

[bear28]

Darkness Thank you for your kind response. I am so glad that me speaking out has helped you and you can relate! I find it amazing coming on here and seeing someone feels EXACTLY the same as I do.

I, like you, am the same, i process a full situation in my head that hasn't happened and get worked up over it because there is the ever so slightest chance it could possibly happen.

My mum told me recently that as a child I had an overwhelming fear of death, to myself and my parents. This would explain why i suffered from nightmares. One I had regularly was me lying on my bed and there was fire burning round it and i was trapped. Very strange and i had that regularly!

I am lucky enough to live in a village on the coast with lots of walks, i just need the motivation to get myself out and away from the house. Maybe I will take up photography or something to keep my mind distracted. I really do appreciate your kind words and support, they have helped me so much knowing that I am not going crazy.

[AnxiousCarer]

bear a registrar is a qualified Dr. (A very experienced Dr at that) but has not completed GP training, they are likely to be training to be a GP which is why they are working at the practice. They will be under the supervision of a GP, though who will be training them, though that GP will probably not be present during your appointment. They should have access to the same referal processes and medications. Like seeing a GP how good they are with MH probably depends on who you see, but if they want to be a GP I would hope that they have an interest as it will be a large proportion of their caseloads.

[bear28]

AnxiousCarer Thank you for your response, I will keep my appointment and see how i get on.

[Woollymammoth63]

Registrar is GP trainee, with at least three years full time NHS hospital work behind them often a lot more. They can do everything the same, and discuss at the end with their trainer so you get two opinions in a way .

[michelle303]

You should definitely seek help. You can't live like this. You're not alone and there's so much support out there for anxiety. :)

[bear28]

Thought I would give everyone an update. Doctors went alright, i have been referred to get CBT but unfortunately where I am from it can take up to 7 months for an appointment, until that point I am being prescribed citalopram.

Has anyone got any experience from this? I am trying REALLY REALLY hard to get my weight down, i am currently 13st8lbs and lost 11lbs so far, i am so scared that all my weight loss will have been pointless as i have read loads of people say about weight gain. Any advice on this medication will be appreciated.