So many things

[Imogenblue]

Wasn't sure what to put as the subject as there's so many things that I just feel I need an outside perspective on. Anyway,

I've been diagnosed with anxiety and depression and have for some years now had a horrible time dealing with this. I like to feel very capable but it's just not happening. My house is a mess most of the time, I don't feel as though I can be a confident happy parent and my relationship with my parents and in laws is bad, or at least definitely not good.

My parents have no idea about my problems (which have a history behind them) and I don't know how to tell them, or even begin as we never speak about these things. I'm also finding it hard with new friends I've made after becoming a parent as I feel like there's pressure to maintain friendships or I'll become lonely again.

I don't really know what to do, I'm working on getting counselling but any personal experiences or advice would be great help.

[Motherof2oneboyonegirl]

Don't feel alone ever!! the priority is never the house and it's tidiness. Make a list of 1 thing at a time. Think today not tomorrow.

[Imogenblue]

Thanks motheroftwo, feels that way at times. I think I'm a perfectionist, if it's not all done it doesn't feel like I've done anything and I just see the mess. I've had a few mental health people tell me to focus on one thing at a time and I can never make it stick.
Need to do one day at a time like you said and try to make my mental health better, but it's hard,I don't know how.

[AnxiousCarer]

Hi, are you getting any support from GP?

I can relate to the messy house, I feel like its a constant battle to keep on top of it enough that I'm not ashamed when people visit, but it doesn't get furthur than surface tidy most of the time.

I've found councelling very helpful in the past in combination with ADs. Particularly with there being history behing your problems this sounds like a good call.

Definately setting small goals is a good plan. I also find meditation and exercise helpful.

[fallenempires]

Imogen how long have you been feeling like this for? How supportive is your DP/DH?What you describe is the illness at it's worst.It robs people of their happiness,confidence and the ability to seek and enjoy the company of others.
What AD's has your GP given you?

[Imogenblue]

My DH is really supportive which is nice. I'm not on anything at the moment as I'm usually against having medication, although I know it does help people. I just can't get past the idea of not wanting to take it, which is one of my problems. I did have a crisis team in for a couple weeks recently.

[Imogenblue]

I've been looking into bullet journaling to help me set small manageable tasks and am hoping to get some actual cleaning done in the new year!
The issue is finding the type of counselling that suits me without being silly costly unfortunately.

[fallenempires]

That sounds promising & glad to hear that you have a lovely DH.You mentioned the crisis team involvement which suggests that you need something albeit meds to kick start you before you either find counselling or climb to the top of the NHS waiting lists.A combination of both can be beneficial.

[FastWindow]

Getting some group counselling can be amazingly helpful, even if you don't want to talk much. It helps just to hear that other seemingly OK looking people, with often quite normal backgrounds and jobs, are struggling, like oneself. Also, I found that there were some people with much worse issues, and whilst this may not be for everyone, it helped me to focus on the bigger things. That I wasn't that badly off, after all, helped me to regain my perspective.

[AnxiousCarer]

It sounds like you sre working really hard at getting better OP, the firstvtime I had depression I battled on without medication for a long time, trying other things and thinking I should be able to manage, when I eventually gave in and started ADs they made such a huge difference that I wished I'd started them earlier. Since then Ive gone on them at the first sign of depression, and avoided getting as low as that first time. They definately saved my life back then though. Are you against taking medication in general or is it just ADs? If you were diabetic would you take insulin if you needed it? Its the same thing its just the chemical imbalance in your body is affecting your brain instead of your pancreas.