Anti-Depressants - right medication

[onedayimightforget]

I've been taking Citalopram, at varying dosages, on and off for the past 6 years. After my first pregnancy, and because I was breastfeeding, I switched to Sertraline. For a while I also took propranolol for Anxiety. At present I am taking 20mg of Citalopram a day which has just been increased from 10mg.

I've just had a realisation that I have been depressed all of my adult life. Not deeply sad at all times but it's always been there, sometimes further beneath the surface than at other times. So now I'm questioning my medication. I'll obviously give the new dose a try and I won't go to the GP demanding everything needs to be changed but I feel as though Citalopram has just been getting me through the worst times and the dosage is constantly adjusted. Is there something that might be more than just papering over the cracks?

[Mishaps]

Anti-depressants are not for papering over the cracks - they are there to replace chemicals that your body is not good at producing; just like insulin for a diabetic.

[onedayimightforget]

I know, that's my point, I feel like the Citalopram has just been papering over the cracks, i.e. not working properly.

[OhThatThingAgain]

I am an odd one. SSRIs send me manic. I'm allergic to Sertaline (sp sorry) too. I've been on high doses of both Cit and Sert.

Mood stabilisers work better for me. Lithium is my current drug, but newer meds like Lamatical work for some people.

Your GP probably can't prescribe them, have you got a psychiatrist? It's a bummer isn't it? I can totally understand your saying it papers over the cracks.

I know they are great for some people but not for everyone. Have you had talking Therapy? And I'm not going to mention CBT because that did nothing for me (purely personal opinion). I have a psychoanalyst who I see and it helps a bit.

If you've not seen a psychiatrist I'd push for an appointment as they can prescribe more than you average GP. Have you ever had a diagnosis? Being depressed for your whole adult life sounds horrible. I'd be looking for an answer, no one should be constantly depressed.

[onedayimightforget]

I'm currently having CBT. Both of my children were premature resulting in PND and PTSD. My youngest is only 4 months so it's still fairly recent. I have had counselling 4 or 5 times over the past 10 years with limited short term effect. I do think the CBT is helping somewhat. It's probably helping more with the anxiety than depression. I don't have a psychiatrist, I don't even know how I'd go about getting one? I've never had a diagnosis either. I'm pretty good at putting on a front. When I went to my GP this week to ask to increase my dosage I literally asked that and he said he's happy to do it and would rather do so before I get very low. I was sat there thinking "but I'm there already", but I didn't say that of course. Instead I smiled and thanked him for increasing the dose. Somehow I always give the illusion that I'm perfectly fine and in control. I want my GP/CBT therapist to know and understand how utterly shit I feel but I can never bring myself to say it. If I've made it to the appointment then I'm having a good day. They need to see me on a day I can't manage to get there because I'm stuck at home in my pyjamas unable to get dressed or make myself food.

[OhThatThingAgain]

Oh I know the smile and the I'm ok face. Just up the dose doc and I'll be fine.

It's amazing what we can achieve despite feeling dreadful. You say you are not deeply sad, but you're on Ad's and posting on here. That sounds enough to warrant a bit of extra help.

Four months is still early days. You are in the thick of it. Could you write your feelings down and just hand them to the GP? The PTSD should be enough for that.

I don't know how to get an NHS psychiatrist as I have private insurance but I think people on here could advise. I agree to the CBT for the anxiety, but not the depression. My opinion only though, I'm no expert, just been through the system.

If you really feel you've been depressed for so long you need to talk to someone about it (not CBT). You may not get a diagnosis anyway, but a chat with a psychiatrist would be where I'd want to be. Ask your GP for a referral, not sure how long it would take but it's worth pursuing?

My MH issues really ramped up after my first baby. I think motherhood is very hard for some of us and brings up all manner of issues. I wish you well, I'm sure someone will pop up soon with better advice