Feeling really crap. Have had mental Heath problems from an early age. My mum had bipolar disorder and was awful to me so I have a lot of flashbacks!
I have always been v in love with dd since i conceived her but I just can't enjoy motherhood. I have tried so hard. Not only did her dad leave me during pregnancy but I was bullied in the workplace. I was in labour for 2 days with a ecs.
I remember about 3 weeks old thinking about how much I loved her but how much I hate the slog of being a mum. I just miss my freedom. I feel there is nothing left for me.
People said it gets easier... It dosnt. Dd is very spirited and can actually answer back now! She refuses a lot to do as I ask. I just feel so weighed down by the responsibility... Every penny I own goes on her. We clash enormously.
She has not taken kindly go my new dpd who is lovely. I feel like I sacrificed so much. The saddest thing is I was desperate to have her but I don't enjoy being a mum. It's like I feel that I can't relax when she's awake. Like hyper vigilance or something.
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Mental health
Still havn't come to terms with motherhood...8 years on.
2 replies
malificent7 · 13/10/2016 21:07
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