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Mental health

what doesn't kill you...

12 replies

Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 22:23

Makes you stronger right?

Shit time, dd(14) took an overdose last week, abusive ex started a new campaign against me today by phone at work, including threatening voicemail, ds in middle of GCSEs, work under pressure, having to take time off due to dd follow ups, everyone wants a piece of me. FFS I'm only human, but I have to deal with this, fuck make me stronger I want to be weak and let someone else deal but that ain't gonna happen coz this shit is all mine!

Sorry just had to let it out, don't know what I want from posting, just having a moment, will 'snap back' soon, never any other choice

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boodles · 18/05/2016 22:27

Some time you just need to say things out loud. Sounds like you have a lot on your plate at the moment. Do you get any space to yourself at all, even 10 mins to bath or read a book? Is there anyone you can report the ex to, especially as he has left a voicemail as evidence.

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 22:31

I've reported the ex to the police via their online reporting, which in hindsight makes it worse as now 'unknown number' could be police, school or ex!

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 22:35

As for time out, the dc sleep the same hours as me, since dd's od last week I don't feel I can be away from home when she isn't and ex resumed his threats today which had tipped the balance between me coping and just wanting to scream and worse

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 22:38

Previous post not clear, I reported ex in Dec for harassment, was recorded as a non crime something? What takes the piss is I chucked the paperwork out 2 weeks ago on a 'tidy up and get myself together' session, now he comes back and on top of the kid issues he makes threats to me

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boodles · 18/05/2016 22:40

I am sorry you are having to deal with this. It is hard when you have older children who only sleep when you do, gives you no time. I know what you mean about almost wanting to be week so you can curl up and hide from it all.

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boodles · 18/05/2016 22:41

The police should still have a record. I think the thing about keeping reporting it is so there is a paper trail in case it escalates.

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 22:51

Thanks boodles, I'm sure the police will have a record of the previous incident, I feel less empowered as I have no reference numbers to give and I've weakened my defence by another needed call coming through as 'unknown number'
Why do schools and health professionals do this? Ok I kinda know why, but the pressure it puts on the receiving end, I have to answer in case it is someone who wants to help, but it could be someone who wants to harm!
I blocked over 10 calls from the ex today, then he managed to get through to the boss. I had to explain to my boss the lies he is spouting!
I'm lucky my boss is understanding but they are already aware of my dd's issues. They are my boss FFS this is my lovely hood!

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 23:03

Livelihood dd's

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 23:05

I can only decompress without teen dc's over hearing so don't feel I can call by rl support as to late when dc are in bed like tonight

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boodles · 18/05/2016 23:28

I can't believe he called your boss. What a horrible person and another way of wearing you down when you are already low. I am not sure if there is a local police station near you (or have they all gone now?) so you can maybe speak to someone in person and explain. It just seems so awful that someone can keep doing it to you.

It must be hard when you want to talk but don't want your children to hear. Keep talking here if you need to say it out loud. I know that for me sometimes writing it down helps order my thoughts.

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Stoneagemum · 18/05/2016 23:33

My local police station has been closed so it is a 10 mile trip to the nearest station so by public transport it's 45 mins. It's so humiliating at work I'm the fixer FFS

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Stoneagemum · 20/05/2016 22:44

Just in case any of you are still about, I had a meeting with the police today and they are issuing a harassment warning notice (PIN) to my ex.

They have Also advised that I should not ignore/delete any emails I receive in future but save them and call them again as they can use it as evidence to arrest. They were concerned that 6 months down the line from receiving police advice he escalates contacting me.

I just want this to go away, I have enough on my plate with a dd trying to kill herself and a ds doing GCSE's. Won't even go there with my MH being a 2, (or is it 3 now with this ex) survivor of DV/DA