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(3 Posts)
TheGrallon Sat 13-Feb-16 13:25:54

My twins are now coming up to three in a few months. When they were born I struggled but at the time I thought it was just the pressure of two babies, adjusting to motherhood etc. The doctor and HV seemed set on me being 'depressed' and I resented every suggestion of it. Looking back I'm now wondering if they had a point and I was so blinded by the need to be a coper I just brushed it aside.

I hated the 'contact' aspect of breastfeeding, I was completely out of my depth caring for them despite having excellent support, I vividly remember running through conversations about adoption in my mind during night feeds and how I was letting everybody down. I really wanted just to go back to work. As they have got older the bond has grown and I love the bones of them.

However having them saws resurgence of my binge eating, which hasn't stopped three years later, leading to a 2/3 stone weight gain.

I am paranoid about my health and that of my DH, every twings or minor ailment and I'm convinced one of us is going to die a horrible death leaving the other alone. This occupies far too many of my thoughts. I can't imagine it helps that I have a job in which mortality is a key factor.

I'm underperforming at work, my sex drive has gone, I take no pride in my appearance and I can no longer be bothered with housework..... Though I do enough of all these things so that I'm sure everyon thinks I'm ok, just toddlered-out.

I cry every day about nothing in particular and can't seem to see any joy to come in life, like the best has gone.

I have a wonderful DH, healthy kids, a good job, a few money problems but not desperate, amazing friends and parents..... I'm just anxious all the bloody time.

Could this be untreated PND? Does everyone feel like this with small children?

limon Sun 14-Feb-16 11:08:29

It could definitely be untreated PND. Or if you had a difficult birth ptsd. Please go and see your GP. Treatment can really help difficulties with mental health once its diagnosed.

TheGrallon Sun 14-Feb-16 12:07:58

I had a c section but all v controlled, not traumatic. The NHS website suggests untreated PND will only last month's, is it ridiculous that it could be that after nearly 3 years?

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