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Mental health

PND

2 replies

TheGrallon · 13/02/2016 13:25

My twins are now coming up to three in a few months. When they were born I struggled but at the time I thought it was just the pressure of two babies, adjusting to motherhood etc. The doctor and HV seemed set on me being 'depressed' and I resented every suggestion of it. Looking back I'm now wondering if they had a point and I was so blinded by the need to be a coper I just brushed it aside.

I hated the 'contact' aspect of breastfeeding, I was completely out of my depth caring for them despite having excellent support, I vividly remember running through conversations about adoption in my mind during night feeds and how I was letting everybody down. I really wanted just to go back to work. As they have got older the bond has grown and I love the bones of them.

However having them saws resurgence of my binge eating, which hasn't stopped three years later, leading to a 2/3 stone weight gain.

I am paranoid about my health and that of my DH, every twings or minor ailment and I'm convinced one of us is going to die a horrible death leaving the other alone. This occupies far too many of my thoughts. I can't imagine it helps that I have a job in which mortality is a key factor.

I'm underperforming at work, my sex drive has gone, I take no pride in my appearance and I can no longer be bothered with housework..... Though I do enough of all these things so that I'm sure everyon thinks I'm ok, just toddlered-out.

I cry every day about nothing in particular and can't seem to see any joy to come in life, like the best has gone.

I have a wonderful DH, healthy kids, a good job, a few money problems but not desperate, amazing friends and parents..... I'm just anxious all the bloody time.

Could this be untreated PND? Does everyone feel like this with small children?

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limon · 14/02/2016 11:08

It could definitely be untreated PND. Or if you had a difficult birth ptsd. Please go and see your GP. Treatment can really help difficulties with mental health once its diagnosed.

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TheGrallon · 14/02/2016 12:07

I had a c section but all v controlled, not traumatic. The NHS website suggests untreated PND will only last month's, is it ridiculous that it could be that after nearly 3 years?