Worried about dh

[Rugbycomet]

As the title says I am getting more and more concerned. A couple of days ago he said he was tired of life and has thought a few times of jumping of a very high bridge close to where he works. We don't live in the UK. He said the same thing yesterday after we'd been out and returned to a burst pipe and there was two inches of water all over the house. We are on holiday and have a holiday home. He's always so stressed and hates his job and is due to retire next year.

I really don't know how to support him. I've suggested that he really needs to see someone but he says he doesn't have the time, which of course is an excuse. I've told him I can only do so much. Does anyone know what I should be doing??

On a selfish note, his constant negativity wears me down too. He is no fun anymore and doesn't want to have fun either. He says he can't be bothered with anything.

Sorry for the rant but I really don't know what to do.

[BipBippadotta]

It sounds like he needs help urgently. If he's identified a bridge he's thinking of jumping off, and has thought about a lot and mentioned it several times, he would be considered by any mental health professional worth their salt as being at high risk of suicide.

You sound very frustrated with him, which is understandable - it can be very hard to live with someone who is severely depressed. But the lack of pleasure in things and the apathy are signs of serious depression.

Do not leave it to him to seek help - make an appointment with the GP and bring him there.

[Rugbycomet]

Thank you Bip....I will try and get him to the Drs but I have a feeling that he will be the horse you can lead to water but not make him drink!!!

[BipBippadotta]

It is hard. But with any luck once he is in front of a doctor who recognises the problem, it will help him recognise it as well. Hopefully your DH will be able to be honest with the doc about how he has been feeling.

It sounds like he's at a tough point in life - miserable at work but possibly worried about retirement. Have you lived outside the UK for a long time? Do you trust the dr you've got?

Maybe stress to him that you love him, that he doesn't have to go around feeling like this, it's a very common response to stress & life changes, and there is lots that can be done to help.

Getting help doesn't need to be time-intensive, it just needs to start with a trip to the GP. Most counsellors/therapists work evenings, weekends, etc.

Do you have any support yourself? Friends, family you could talk to about this? It's very hard to feel you've got to deal with this on your own.