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Anxiety - does it ever give you any peace?

(11 Posts)
TheoriginalLEM Sun 29-Nov-15 16:54:06

Just that really - im so tired.

I try to be positive but honestly, its just a show. I just want to be fucking normal. I want to look forward without the fear of jinxing things. I want to be able to do things to our house without thinking that daring to do anything positive will bring me bad luck and to my family to and that it will be my fault.

I don't want to be dependant on medication that doesn't even work.

Can feel a really big crash approaching.

I need to go for a run but right now my anxiety wont even let me do that neither will the cold I could do some colouring but have managed to convince myself that if i do that something bad will happen.

Im not sure i can do this much longer

TheoriginalLEM Sun 29-Nov-15 16:55:55

I want to be happy, but then i think, maybe i am? maybe my day to day life is enough, just be happy with that - i am. But im not if that makes any sense. Other people re happy aren't they? every day? content? My life isn't bad, but i honestly don't think i have the capacity to recognise happiness - that makes no sense, i can't explain it.

TrinityForce Sun 29-Nov-15 16:57:59

flowers

do you have a cuppa?

Are you on any medication for the anxiety? If so, can you make an appt with your doctor to discuss how you're feeling?

it's shit, but you're a good person and you will feel happy again one day.

Luxyelectro Sun 29-Nov-15 17:00:50

LEM
It does get better. Honestly. A couple of years ago, my anxiety was so bad I would sweat rivers. I mean I could feel it dripping from under my arms and running down my sides. The constant chest pain and increased Heart rate affected my digestion, my weight. Everything was going to pot and I was a mess

I would love to be able to tell you what it was that changed. But the last few months have been a complete change.
I've removed people from my life that I thought were helping me, but weren't.
I have strict routines that I can't change at the moment or everything slides again, but I can catch it in time now.
Mostly somehow, in my old age have found an ability to let things go.

No medication or therapy worked. Something else changed. 2016 I'm going to concentrate on me. I deserve some peace in my life
Want to join me for a year of positivity and feeling good?

TheoriginalLEM Sun 29-Nov-15 17:02:58

I do Trinity and its a good one! little things eh smile

Am on escitalopram highest dose but its just not touching the sides at the moment. Its just an underlying feeling of generalised fear at the moment. Christmas often has that effect on me. It just gets so tiresome.

Not sure i do want to go back to the dr, ive had loads of counselling - doesn't help.

Things are "better" i have more work than i did but don't feel its a proper job so feel im letting my family down. But the thought of applying for jobs paralyses me.

TheoriginalLEM Sun 29-Nov-15 17:04:11

even the thought of positivity scares me just now luxy, but at this stage, i'll try just about anything....

Luxyelectro Sun 29-Nov-15 17:07:47

Christmas is difficult for me too LEM. Reminds me of family ( or lack there of)

When I me mean positivity. I don't mean some massive plans. Just a desire to be kind to myself in the next year. And even if I can't afford to go a me buy myself massive treats. To do something just for me fairly regularly

TheoriginalLEM Sun 29-Nov-15 19:30:50

well am for givingit. a try. this has to stop

Luxyelectro Sun 29-Nov-15 19:42:18

Ok LEM. You say you want to do things to your house? Do you mean decorate and things like that?

ScarlettDarling Sun 29-Nov-15 19:48:26

I liked your comment earlier about appreciating the small things. Try to focus on that nice cuppa, a hot bubbly bath, a good tv programme...just those small things. These little moments of pleasure will get you through this crisis until things calm down again.

Anxiety stinks!

ScarlettDarling Sun 29-Nov-15 19:50:29

Oh, also, have you ever tried different medication?

I'm on a low dose of Sertraline and it really has made a big difference to me. I've never tried any other ADs but I know plenty of people who have tried a variety of ADs, and almost all agree that sertraline works best for anxiety.

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