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have just cut myself. can't deal with life anymore

(7 Posts)
pinkpurpleyellow Thu 06-Aug-15 11:56:18

Everything is too much. I have tried to ask for help and I get a patronising pat on the back and told things will sort themselves out.

I have no money but work non stop.

My kids just don't listen.....They don't help with anything and their behaviour over the school holidays has been awful.

I have too much to do. Not enough time and everyone and everything is working against me.

My boyfriend is gping to be so angry and upset when he sees my arms

Wolfiefan Thu 06-Aug-15 12:00:21

He shouldn't be angry. He should be concerned you feel like this.
Question.
Do you need medical attention ?

pinkpurpleyellow Thu 06-Aug-15 12:18:04

No.....I have cleaned it up now and pulled my sleeves down so the kids can't see.

He had an ex who used to cut herself and I know it used to really upset him. I don't want him to have to go through it all again. I'm really struggling at the moment. I thought things were getting better but they aren't.

I need to get help but I don't know where to turn. I feel like such a failure and have so many people relying on me.

BlueKarou Thu 06-Aug-15 12:36:20

Can you write an e-mail to Samaritans? Sometimes it's easier to get it all out in writing rather than figuring out how to say it out loud. That might help as a start; getting your thoughts down in black and white.

If your boyfriend is angry, then he's not a good boyfriend. You should be able to tell him you're having a hard time, and that you need some support; whether that's from him or from a 3rd party - GP, counsellor, etc.

I used to cut, about 6 or 7 years ago. Stopping was the best thing I did, albeit a hard thing to do. It's not a solution to your problems, and it doesn't really do anything to help, other than a quick rush of adrenaline, and a temporary feeling of having control over things.

Talk to Samaritans, talk to your boyfriend or talk to your GP - whoever you would feel more comfortable talking to.

pinkpurpleyellow Thu 06-Aug-15 13:02:14

My bf is amazing....he would be angry at me for doing it and not telling him. He knows I struggle with anxiety and depression and tries to help where he can.
It has all escalated....I used to just scratch or pinch myself. I just wanted to feel something other than the negative horrible feelings that are constantly going round in my head.

I might try emailing like you said.

BlueKarou Thu 06-Aug-15 16:45:12

Good call. It's worth it, even if it just helps you get your thoughts together.

I'm glad your boyfriend is supportive - just had to check. It's definitely an idea to talk to him, even if it's just to say you're struggling at the moment but you're working on looking for help and that you have/you're going to talk to the Samaritans. It's better not to hide it from the people you're closest to and you trust.

pinkpurpleyellow Thu 06-Aug-15 17:13:13

I just feel like such a failure. My children hate me. They are so naughty and treat me like a skivvy. I have tried everything to get them to change and it just gets worse.
I'm a single mum. I work full time and a slave to my children. I feel like I'm about to cracking up.
On top of that I have a lot of obligations to ill relatives.

We are supposed to be going out this evening to stay with a friend that I haven't seen in ages and all I can do is cry. The house is a tip and I have a million and one things that need to be done. I feel like walking in front of a bus.

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