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ex has mental health issues, not sure what happens with kids in the future, would like advice please

(4 Posts)
fakename1 Mon 22-Dec-14 00:13:42

Hi... a couple of years ago I fell pregnant with ds and social services came about as the dad has emotionally unstable personality disorder, so it was all a terrible situation, in the end I had to stop dad from seeing ds until he has had treatment and is stable, I proved im a good mum and that's the end of it, I ensure he doesn't see my ds and don't have to worry (other than people's lies which is easy to prove thankfully) but I don't understand what happens when he's 'better' . It hasn't been to court so its just an agreement (which could result on them taking my ds if I didn't keep to it) so who says that the dad is safe enough, I was led to believe it would be his mental health team but I don't think its good enough not up against social services, I want some kind of court letter saying he's definitely safe when the time comes, I hope somebody has some experience with this? It gets to me quite often because I love ds more than anything and want to protect him forever and as the dad does seem to be improving In about a year I think im going to face this and I want to know what to expect? Im not really sure, any advice would be appreciated

Selks Mon 22-Dec-14 00:23:15

I think your best bet is to ring social services and get their opinion on this.

Hrrrm Mon 22-Dec-14 00:27:33

This is a worry for you. However, I don't think you need to do anything. If the dad wants contact, he'll have to go to court, and you can ask for an assessment and SS input then. Has he indicated he'll do this? It might be that life is easier for him with no contact, so that he won't go to court. Its a shame for your DS, but if SS had to get involved, it really is better this way.

Are you still in any form of contact with him? What have SS told you about what happens when he's better? Just in case, it might be a good idea to start saving up for a solicitor now, just in case he takes it to court.

fakename1 Mon 22-Dec-14 00:42:44

We're still really good friends, I update him on ds most days, and he definitely will want contact when he's allowed, social services are well aware as I update them every so often to ease my anxiety (I had a lovely social worker in the end, but the first was horrible and terrified me) but noone really knows how to answer my question of how is it decided, its like a we'll cross it if it comes to it, which is ok for everyone else but I need answers! I had a solicitor who said the same thing until he's had treatment he can't have contact but no answer as to who really decides... :/ im guessing he would have to take it to court which would then do assessments? Or I could ring the social worker when it comes to it?

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