What's the point

[HammerToFall]

I might as well not be here. I'm sure I don't enrich any bodies life. I only make things worse. I know I need to see doc but have been prescribed anti depressants before and not taken them. Mental illness is rife in my family and I think I have the gene I just cannot see for the the life in me the point in struggling on with this shite anymore. I won't so anything Cos in too much of a coward but god I wish life were easier. I'm sure as hell I skint deserve this

[HammerToFall]

Does
Nobody actually give a shit

[DalekBread]

Hello, I'm sorry you're going through this. I've been on antidepressants short term and they were very helpful - like people say, if you had a broken leg you'd have it in a cast, they were like a cast for my mind. Would you reconsider going on them?
Is there a "time limit" on what you're going through that you can look forward to knowing it won't always be like this?
Do you have anyone in real life you can have a heart to heart with? Or called the Samaritan as they will have no preconceptions & no judgement?

[DalekBread]

Chat tends to have a lot of traffic for more responses

[MrsPepperMintonCandyCane]

Maybe try the tablets. I know they've made an enormous difference to my life and how I see and feel about my value as a person.

[wizzler]

Please call the Samaritans, or go to see your doctor. You sound so sad, talking to someone in rl can only help

[RandomMess]

I have no wise words, for me it has been a long slow haul out of the depths of depression. 30 years of mainly lows.

It is so hard to remember the okay time when you feel so bleak. I tried a lot of anitdepressants before I found one that helped at all and I've also had a lot of long term talking therapy.

It's baby steps. When I'm well I go and do stuff to help others because it does enrich their lives that someone cares.

[LastingLight]

If your family had a history of heart disease and you developed high cholesterol, would you refuse to take the medication for that? Mental illness is no different. You can, and deserve to be helped. Please talk to your doctor. Life can get a whole lot better and you can get to a point where you not only feel good about yourself but can also make a difference in someone else's life.

[DalekBread]

How are you today, OP?

[HammerToFall]

I'm ok, I think I went a bit over the top just felt so bad last night. My son has quite severe attachment issues and each day is such a battle but yesterday was particularly bad. I think I've been down for several years really if I'm honest but sometimes I jut can't see how things can get any better. I had tried to arrange for someone who come round last night for a bit of support as dh is working away but nobody could come and I felt very alone. I have made an appointment with the gp tomorrow to talk things through. Also having a nightmare with my dad this time of her is very difficult for him as his twin brother hung himself four years ago at Christmas, dad is very depressed and drinking too much, mum can't deal with it and there's nothing I can do to help!

[MrsPepperMintonCandyCane]

Gosh Hammer you have a huge amount on your mind currently. My DH works away and it's hard work on your own. I'm glad you're going to the GP. Would you let me know how you get on? If you want to chat please feel free to pm.

[DalekBread]

I'm very sorry for your loss, you have a lot to deal with. That's great that you're seeing the GP tomorrow, I hope it's useful for you.
A dear friend of mine has suffered from depression all his life, & says he was never depressed when doing an extreme sport outdoors - I know it's a cliche (maybe because its true?) but how are you for exercising and being surrounded by nature?

[HammerToFall]

I don't go out much dalek. I'm a sahm and i tend I drop the kids off at school come home and stay at home until it's time to pick them up. I'm not scared of going out or anything but I do feel annoyed if I have to go anywhere other than shops or Ds numerous appointments. I know I should try and go out with friends and stuff when invited but I just prefer being home. I do walk the dog everyday but only on the field opposite our house. My whole life revolves around the house/kids and dog but if I'm honest I have no desire to change it

[DalekBread]

I hope the drs appointment was productive & you were listened to.

[ROUNDandROUNDINCIRCILESMORETHA]

Hi op. I have been feeling similar lately. It is helpful having people to talk to and pleased you started here. When you go through a life of struggles its hard to see the light. I feel to because of my health issues what is the point when all i do is school run walk dog and sleep. I hope your gp is helpful and not the push you out after two minutes type.x

[GraysAnalogy]

Hi OP

I've been where you are, shit isn't it. But you need to want to help yourself, and if you've no desire to change or take meds what is it you'd like, this is a genuine question by the way.

Things do get better. When that darkness clears your life won't seem bad. I'm a homebody (which you seem to be too) and I love it, but when my depression hits I feel like nothing is worth it and that it's horrible and whats the point.

Have you been to the docs again? It does work but takes time. I'm like you I think I've got some faulty gene too because my mum and grandma were the same as me.

It sounds like you've got an awful lot going on, this time of year can be especially bad. If you want to talk, I'm here

[DalekBread]

Hi OP, I hope things are looking better for you x