Recovering from prenatal depression

[soapybubbles123]

I've suffered with depression for 10 years but I have never been so ill as I was when I was pregnant. I hated pregnancy, I didn't want to or feel able to be a Mum and I couldn't see anything positive in my future. My parents, brother and DH were incredibly supportive and I had all the NHS and private support available but I still planned how to run away so that no one would find me.

DS is now 8 weeks old and I can truthfully say that I didn't think it was possible to love him so much. I didn't love him straight away, when I first looked at him I burst into tears that were anything but joyful. I stayed in my local maternity unit for a few nights and actually tried to leave him there but found that I couldn't.

I wanted to share this to try and help anyone else suffering see that there might be light at the end of the tunnel. During pregnancy I couldn't believe anyone who said that things might work out and that I would love my baby. I truly just wanted everything to be over.

Things still aren't perfect; I still have panic attacks, days when I feel I just can't cope and I'm still on maximum dose medication but I CAN do this. I CAN be a Mum and I will be the best one I can be, because that is truly what I want even though I felt like it was impossible.

[Tired10years]

Congrats! Well done, sounds like you have turned a massive corner. Here, have some flowers!

[fluffybunnies246]

that's lovely

[BeingAMummyIsFabulous]

You sound to me so positive and sound like you are doing your very best...which as mums is all we can do. When you have a panic attack, try not to dwell on it, try and focus on what you managed to do and what a good mum you are being. I find having a distraction technique my coping mechanism when I feel my anxiety rising and feel myself going into complete panic...doesn't always work, but mostly it does. Good luck to you and well done.

[Remyandbrandy]

well done you lovely xx

[Fuzzyduck21]

Thanks for posting this. I am suffering with prenatal anxiety and depression and am currently 33 wks. It manifests itself differently to yours but I feel terrible. I'm receiving extra support from mh teams and the hospital but my consultant is against meds. I wish I had pushed harder for them earlier as mu counsellor says I need them but with just 7 weeks to go im not sure it's worth it. I have an overwhelming fear that this has all had a hideous affect on the babys development and I am worried i will spend the next years watching him for signs of it.... how is your baby after being depressed? all I want for mine is to be happy and healthy. congratulations and I'm so pleased you are feeling better x