I don't want to be like this forever!

[twiglet59]

On a scale of my anxiety I've had a 9.5 today. I get social anxiety and I feel I've had enough at my age. I have worked part-time for the same company for a long time. Part time because of DS and DD anyway late last year I took on an extra part-time job within the same company because we needed the money and DS and DD are older now. I was finding 2nd job difficult didn't like the boss very hard to please (not the only one that felt that way about her). Anyway there was a possibility of a third part-time job coming up (all at the same place). This third job had the potential of being more demanding in the way of confidence etc. Anyway I have been doing all 3 since end of March. They all add up to 43 hours in a week. That aside I have had really bad social anxiety this week. Sometimes it gets much worse around PMT, but I don't think it can just be that. I feel I make people feel so uncomfortable because I just clam up when they ask about me. There's a really sweet old man at work and I asked stuff about him and his son. It is hard to put into words the way it makes you feel. It feels like torture because you can't say to someone I'm sorry I'm making you feel uncomfortable. It's not something people talk about it. I think the extra work isn't helping, but I feel its maybe just me.

[bluebell345]

I don't think its just you, everyone has similar thoughts but they keep them to themselves and move on.
btw congratulations for your hard work, I believe you will come somewhere good in future. be happy with it and enjoy it :).

[teawomen]

All the added stress of three jobs will be doing you no favours. Being a working mother is hard enough but 43 hours Is a lot.

[norwichloveliness]

I have come to realise that most of us living in our own bubble of wondering how we are being percieved, what other people think, are they laughing or disliking me.... but really, they are probably just feeling exactly the same way... too worried about how they are being perceived....

agree 43 hours is too much and tiredness can exhasperate thigns for me

[LastingLight]

I think you are spread a bit thin having taken on 2 extra jobs. Stress will make anxiety worse. Can you cope financially if you only had 2 jobs instead of 3?