Feeling so low today need to shake this mood.

[sweetkitty]

Don't know why I'm posting really but I feel really really low today and yesterday. I have loads to do but am sitting here

I have 4 DCs and never seem to have 5 minutes there's always something needing done and I go from I've job to the next then feel guilty the house is still a mess and I've not spent any quality time with the DCs

Coupled with worrying about finances and getting the DC back to school, the gas and elec bill came in and they want to increase our monthly payments by £50 everyone and everything just costs money.

I have bad health anxiety as well, am on 20mg citalopram, would love to take the DCs out but terrified of driving/4 on public transports a nightmare plus have no spare cash have done all the free down the park stuff.

Was speaking to a friend today whose MIL was taking her DCs for a few hours and I thought no one has ever done that for me, have no family support whatsoever just DP and I.

Just feeling really down

[SnowyMouse]

Would having a plan where you do monthly readings help? (so you only pay what you've used).

I'm sorry you're feeling so low, is there anyone you can chat with?

[sweetkitty]

They do this a lot bump up the payments then you have to phone them but since last time they've merged the gas and electricity accounts I can't find my new account no to phone or go online

Have done my accounts for the month (not looking good) and some housework.

No no one I can chat too

[NanaNina]

Oh feeling so much for you sweetkitty - you have an awful lot on your plate as I'm sure you know, with 4 children, health anxiety and financial worries. Most people would feel very very stressed in your position. Don't be too hard on yourself, it doesn't really matter if the house is a mess does it and how on earth do you keep a house tidy with 4 children. My neighbour has 3 children all under 5 (one with special needs) and she often comes to cry on my shoulder. I do occasionally take one of the kids for an hour but she always worries she is "putting on me" - her parents and ILs very rarely visit even though like me they are all retired.

20mg of citalopram is quite a low dose I think - I wonder if you need a higher dose. Do you think you are depressed or just "down" because of the circumstances you are in, or are you more anxious than depressed. Maybe time to see the GP if you think you are depressed or anxious (although the 2 go hand in hand usually)

Our energy provider put our DD up by £69 recently. I might try and find a cheaper one.

Your life won't always be like this you know, your children will grow up, you can maybe get a job and you won't have the financial worries. You know what they say about child rearing "the days go slow and the years go fast"

Sending warm wishes your way

[sweetkitty]

Oh thanks nananina you've made me cry

I know I have no worries compared with some and I don't have worries about how I'm going to buy food or pay the rent so I am lucky.

I've had depression/anxiety/self esteem issues since my early 20s(probably before that) I've never felt I've fitted in anywhere, always feel people are talking and laughing at me. The anxiety has gotten a lot worse since the DC came along but that's natural I suppose.

I have recently changed doctors as the one I had was useless

[HoopHopes]

Hi if you have a child under 5 you could ask your health visitor to refer you to Home Start when someone could come to your house for 2 hours a week, perhaps help play with your children whilst you do jobs and chat to you at the same time.

I only have one child but I would imagine very little time for yourself with 4 so hopefully when they all in school or funded nursery you will be able to have some of that time again etc

[NanaNina]

Do you know what the root of your depression/anxiety/self esteem issues are sweetkitty (such a lovely nickname!) Usually if we experience sad or traumatic things in our childhood, they sort of "follow" us through into adulthood, and to a greater or lesser extent all of our lives. Having said that we all cope in our own individual way.

Yes it is natural for the anxiety to get worse when you have children as there are more things to get anxious about........anxiety is really fear and it is really fear of the future, or fear of our health an I know you mentioned health anxiety. Is this in relation to you, or the children or both. Obviously we all get anxious about different things and your fear is for your health, or maybe the health of your children.

What ages are your children sk and yes I wondered about Home Start too, and don't worry that social services will think you can't cope with your children. I was a social worker for 30 years altogether but have been retired for 9 years (I'm very old you see - looking at 70 next birthday!) and have been really upset on some of the threads who think SS are going to swoop and take away their children if they are having problems with their mental health.

I think lots of us know there are people so much worse off than us, but it doesn't actually help much when you feel so crap does it. I have intermittent depression after a severe depression 3 years ago, so my mood fluctuates, more good days than bad but when the bad ones come I can't function hardly at all. I really feel for you young mums who are having mental health problems and young children to care for - I just don't know how you do it - but then I suppose there is no option is there.

Sounds like there is no family support for you and DP and hope that you two have a good relationship.

Take care and talk some more if you want to. I am usually on the MH boards every day.