any suggestions for feeling very down?

[toadstool]

Evening all. Feeling generally . Had mc a month ago, and immediately lost the one friend at work who would normally have been there for me (she's since cracked up and gone off sick for 4 weeks, so I can put down her horrible reaction to her own problems). Then 2 weeks after my mc, my cousin who has a DD same age as mine was diagnosed with breast cancer... Then the wife of another cousin, v. young, with a DD, has just had a psychotic breakdown, been sectioned,and the baby is now 3 hrs drive from them, living with her (abominable) granny (my aunt). To cap it all, my DD has stopped sleeping through the night, and is being very aggressive with me (lots of thumping and hitting - she's 4). I'm already in counselling for what I suspect is mild depression, and I really don't want to go down the anti-depressants route. Any suggestions, apart from unplugging the phone and PC? For the mo, the comfort of choice is wine and heavy food, so I've been weepy all day over the fact that the pg, mc and post-mc have left me 2 stones overweight with a 'big fat tummy' (thank you DD). Also there's some sort of concern over antibodies re. the mc, which may even compromise TTC. GREAT. Sorry for rant, I've had enough.

[toadstool]

Feeling a bit better now - decided watching 'Triangle' on BBC1 was the ticket!

[MrsMuddle]

Nothing to say to help, but just to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending cyberhugs. Hope you feel more positive soon.

[naswm]

Hi toadstool. So sorry to hear about your MC etc. No wonder you arre feeling down. Have you ever considered St John's Wort? Just a thought. naswm

[mousiemousie]

Sorry to hear what a hard time you have been having toadstool

My advice is to try to get some exercise, preferably outdoors, as this is as good at elevating mood and lifting depression as ADs. Buy some healthy superfoods - seeds, fruits, nice salads, mood enhancing food (google for more eg bananas, tofu etc) - and do something creative while someone else looks after dd for a while. DD is probably reacting to how unsettled you are feeling - can you make her day into a more highly structured routine - that will make her feel more secure. How is the counselling going?

[666mummy]

im a young mum 2 be and im 40wks exactly, anybody got any tips on hurrying this baby out of me, my hormones are all over the place and im feeling v.low. x x x

[naswm]

666mummy - sorry you are feeling low. It's horrible when you get to that 40 wk mark isn't it. I think sometimes it is a shame they ahve to give you a due date at all. An approximate might relieve some of the anxiety. You might get more responses if you created a separate thread in here or in pg btw. Good luck x.

[toadstool]

Thank you all for your very helpful posts - I've started to act on 3 suggestions (exercised this morning, booked DD into an activity for my full day with her, have appt with homeopath tomorrow). I'm also seeing the GP tomorrow to get some sense out of them about the antibodies tests. I think the problem with things that are out of control is precisely that: wanting to get back a sense of it being controllable, and things like eating and moving around sensibly are the easiest way to do it - so many thanks again! (and hugs to 666mummy!)

[mousiemousie]

How's it going today toadstool?
Sounds as though you have done a lot of positive things to help yourself already!

[miniminx]

Hi Toadstool

I am (hopefully) now coming out of what was a very scary period of sudden depression.

I didn't want to start anti-depressants either.

Mousiemousie's advice is spot on to my mind. Getting regular exercise and making a big effort to look after your body through healthy eating (I now have a banana every morning first thing) really do seem to help.

I would add, try to say nice things to yourself, even if you don't believe them, it seems to help.

I have been treating myself as kindly as possible, trying to say a nice kind thing to myself every day.

Also, cutting down on drinking and trying to find things to do that stop you dwelling too much on all the horrible things that have happened - you have had a really rough time and you need some care and kindness.

If noone else can/will do it for you, you must do it for yourself.

Big hugs.

Take care.

[tenalady]

This may sound a bit odd, but was watching a show on tv this morning and aromatherapy expert of 30 years recommends Roses real or you can buy a cream which you rub on you. She reckons it combats mood swings. Im off down the shops tommorrow to give it a whirl

[666mummy]

cool, tenalady?!!??!

[majormug]

has everyone gone to bed???? I am wide awake and in need of chat xx

[toadstool]

Yep... early nights help too! (with DD who also sleeps badly and is coming in at 2AM, then waking up full of beans and hungry at 5.30AM EVERY DAY)... I like the aromatherapy suggestion! I'm still going to avoid ADs but will try to cut down on the wine and coffee, both of which I've returned to with a vengeance since the MC, and will have a full consultation with homeo in a couple of weeks' time. Now having 1st period after mc, too, and surprisingly OK about it - rather relieved to be back to normal, in fact. But... had insomnia and a blinding headache, so obviously not all well. It's a strange time. Right, off into fresh air and healthy eating!