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Hi, would love some advice on my situation.
Basically, I have what I think is major anxiety over getting a dog.
My background is that seven years ago we got a puppy, my children at the time were 3, 8 and 10. Although I really wanted him, I found it incredibly hard and stressful, my anxiety was very high and we made the very difficult decision to rehome him. I just couldn't cope with the housetraining and having young children. Since then we have often looked after our friends dog whilst they are away, and I have really enjoyed having her here.
My children and my dh really want a dog of their own. Every time we have our friends dog we all miss her when she has gone home. I recently found a rescue dog that is perfect, the right breed, housetrained etc. We put in an application for her and they now want to do a home check.
My anxiety levels have gone sky high. I need to reply to their email but when I try to I completely freak out. My stomach churns to the point of feeling sick, I feel heat rising up the back of my neck and my mind races with questions constantly. It's like I can't stop thinking about it. The last week has been a nightmare as this is all I can think about. I think I am fine with the decision when I go to bed, then wake up thinking about it and find it difficult to get up. I can only describe it as feelings of dread and despair.
I cannot believe I feel this way over what should be a simple decision. I love the idea of having a dog, and it would get me out more, I just wish I could do it for myself and for my family. Sorry for the long post, and it seems a small problem compared to some on here, but it is really getting me down and I would love to hear your views.
Hi fedup not sure I have a load of advice (we have a cat ) but wanted to reply... Have you tried writing down all the questions you have, good and bad I'd imagine? Maybe that would give you the chance to work through them - maybe with DH - and find solutions? and clarify what is freaking you out the most? It may be that's its bringing back difficult feelings from when you had your first dog? How old are your kids now. Can you make a plan to share the responsibilities so that it doesn't fall to you - and maybe to start with very little if anything falls to you - if you do go ahead. I do think trying to identify what is giving you the feeling of dread is important - eg is it the training, if so what can you do about it eg can DH train/one of DCs/can you afford a course or something to take the pressure off (thinking off the top of head here!)
Anyhow I do hope you manage to get this sorted.
Thanks for your message. Kids are now 17, 15 and 10 so old enough to help out which would be easier. I really don't know what freaks me out about it, wish I did then maybe I could sort it out properly. All the questions that go round on my head I know are solvable, like when it would get walked etc. I just know that something stops me from making the final decision and gives me major anxiety. I think that if I feel this anxious before we have even got the dog, I am worried that if we had her then I would not be able to cope again and would break my families hearts again by failing.
Have you tried writing them down or telling someone else them? I do find that the act of writing or speaking worries can make them disappear, or smaller, or help me find an answer. Does your DH know how you're feeling about this?
Yes he does know, he's been great actually. He wold love to go ahead but understands anxiety as he has suffered from it in the past so knows how I'm feeling. Have spoken to a few people but I don't think anyone understands, I don't even understand it! Will try writing it down, good idea, even writing on here is calming me down a bit.
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