I am just so bloody tired.

[TomsBentPinky]

I can't even be bothered to NC.

Nothings wrong, nothing at all, we are all healthy, happy, safe.

But I just feel like a wreck, on the verge of tears constantly.

Am on meds, I don't want to go to the GPs again...

I'm just having a downer :(

I spend 45 minutes on asda website putting 6 bottles of water in my basket. I couldn't do anymore without crying.

DH is here, hes supportive and cuddling me.

But theres nothing WRONG so theres nothing to fix. Nothing he can do.

I could just sleep all day.

Its just broken old me :(

[Lottapianos]

So sorry you're feeling this way TomsBentPinky Everything just feels like too much sometimes. Glad your DH is supportive.

How long have you been on your meds and have they been helping up until now? Do you have any idea what may be making you feel this way? Hope you can lie down if you need to.

[TomsBentPinky]

I don't know, years.

It just feels like I'm built this way.

I'm not like other people in so many ways. I thought I was used to it but I'm just so tired and want things to be different but things never change. I have no will power and I just dissapoint myself.

[Lottapianos]

I'm so sorry for you TomsBentPinky. I know what you mean about being different to other people, I feel the same. Sometimes it's wonderful and I love it and other times it feels so bloody exhausting and I feel like a freak

It does wear you out and you get sick and tired of it.

I don't want to ask you loads of questions because that does my head in when I'm feeling like you are, but would you consider counselling/therapy? I see a therapist weekly and it's bloody hard work but I feel I am really making progress.

[TomsBentPinky]

I have asked but am always fobbed off by GP about waiting times ect and its terrifying to me, I hate talking to anyone, let alone someone who would be analysing me.

I think I might have to as I've not moved an inch forwards in yeras with my MH, gone backwards if anything.

Thankyou for answering, I'm glad to hear you are making progress, it must feel wonderful.

I'm going to go put some slap on, my mums taking me to Asda, try and feel a bit more normal,

thanks again.

[Lottapianos]

It is scary TomsBentPinky, especially at first. It's very strange to have someone listen to you so intently, and without any judgement. It's very different to how people usually interact with each other! Seeing a therapist has helped me in so many ways, but I think the first thing I noticed was how muddled my thoughts were and how hard I found it to recognise what I was feeling. That got easier over time and I struggle with it much less now.

I have heard the BACP website is a useful resource for finding a local psychotherapist. I pay £40 for a 50 minute session, I think the going rate is £40-£60 a session. It's not cheap but it's the best money I've ever spent.

I hope ASDA goes ok. Please be gentle with yourself. Sending you good wishes