Feel I have no purpose at all :(

[anniebear]

feel so fed up and down. Had been doing ok and trying to lower my medication

But Im so fed up of having nothing to do...well I have gardening, housework etc but no motivation to do any of them

I just get up, kids go to school and I feel stuck in a vicious circle. I am much better than I was and do run a group for parent/carers of children with special needs. But this is only once a month
. I just have nothing to do, cant work as I dont feel ready to, same goes for voluntary work, Im just sitting here crying. I just have no purpose in life, I want to do something, be something, feel happy more often. My children are awful behaved (one due to disability and one due to her age!!)

Just day in day out the same, I just need more

sorry Im probably not making any sense at all . Just rambling away lol, have no one else to bore!! sorry

thanks for listening xxx

[anniebear]

meant Im crying now, didnt mean I sit and cry everyday!

Im very much a people person, hate having nothing to do

[Latara]

The group for special needs is definitely a real purpose for you - lots of parents are desperate for the type of support i expect you give.
Maybe you can expand this group to more than once a month; or socialise with parents from the group?

I do sympathise with your last post because i'm likely to lose my job soon through ill-health; can't stand the thought of that as i'm very sociable & get bored easily.

It's hard to think of ideas for things to do when you just feel miserable; there's loads i could do but it all seems totally pointless when i'm so worried about work.

You need to do what my sister has done for me - make a plan to do things regularly that cheer you up.

Also i don't have kids but think of the things they do that make you smile.

I have a pet cat who makes me smile & i feel guilty i haven't brushed her for 3 days (a Persian) so i'd better make myself brush her or it's down the vets for her... wish me luck i'm going to do it now & try to avoid the scratches.

Take care of yourself; make sure you are eating healthy by the way because 'lack of food lowers mood' also maybe now isn't the right time to lower your meds? x

[anniebear]

Thank you for replying xxx Hope you are ok x

[mashedpotatohead]

Hey anniebear, just wanted to say what you do is amazing. Latara is right about the support you give is invaluable to parents & carers.

Do you have any real passions that could get you out? Do you excercise at all? I find that swimming really lifts my mood. I can relate to reduncing the meds bit but don't be too hard on yourself.

I am also dealing with badly behaved children (although not with disabilities) & it's utterly draining so I do sympathise. I always collar them for a hug & forgive myself if we've had a bad day. It's not easy especially when things feel so hopeless. When I feel Like this, I tend to set small goals & put a time limit on them. So hoover by 10am etc & dont try to do too much. Do you have anyone in RL to talk to? Keep venting here though. Take care x

[mashedpotatohead]

*Reducing not reduncing!

[anniebear]

thankyou mashpotato, I know ..without sounding big headed , I kind of do quite a bit in one sense...huge fb support group, local coffee group , then arrange meetups for coffee and breakfast etc I love supporting and caring for others, partic parents struggling with their special needs child. But thats just a few days in the month

I know Ive come such a long way in the 11 years of extreme stress. I just want things to be normal, I want to feel normal. I want to get up tidy the house, do the ironing, work a couple of days, just feel I have a purpose for being here....but I cant and I dont

Yet again Im sitting here on the sofa since 8.30 AM :O iM SO BORED, HAVE THINGS NEED TO be done but cant motivate myself

struggling with money a bit so cant do too much. In A vicious circle, I need to do stuff but can't do it

I feel such a failure..I have been on 20mg AD's for nearly 5 years.....a few months ago after talking to the doc and feeling a long stronger I went to 20, 20, 10 and so o and more recently down to 20/10 every other day. I didnt want to come off them totally but just wanted to getto 10mg a day and it seems I cant even do that :)

thank you so much for taking the time to respond, means a lot xxx

[anniebear]

sorry for the caps! didnt realise.

I have a close friend but she has her own family problems. Then I obviously am the one people come to for support, which is great and I enjoy it, just sometimes ish there was a me for me!!! if you get that lol

[mashedpotatohead]

I totally get that anniebear. I'm a trained counsellor & my friends often say it's most difficult for the helper to ask for help (if that makes sense!).

Please dont feel a failure, you're really not. I do sometimes too though, so I understand. I've been on Ad's for 2yrs but I feel so much calmer & I'd rather be that way than the neurotic mess I once was!

If money is tight, can you at least have a daily walk/jog? Especially when it's sunny. Just set that as a daily goal for 15mins & extend it each day by 5mins. As you begin achieving & have a sense of purpose, it may start to lift you.

Sending you a BIG ((((((hug)))))

[anniebear]

Thank you xxxx

[mashedpotatohead]

How are you feeling anniebear? x