Life is difficult at the moment, really difficult. For various reasons I am stuck in a massive rut and at the same time going through some massive changes. I am 25.
I have become totally fixated on the decisions I made when I was a teenager and how I made the wrong ones. The main one being not going to uni and having DCs young.
Now I know these decisions were not right, and I recognise that they were not really 'my' decisions either. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family with abuse, my own mental health problems including hospitalisation, I was certainly not in the right 'place' to make an informed choice. I know it's not my fault, and not DH's either (similar, but worse, circumstances for him).
So how the hell do I get over this? I keep thinking how I wish I could go back, but I can't. And then I feel guilty - how on earth can I regret what I didn't do, when I wouldn't for a minute regret having my wonderful DCs? And I'm not a bad mother either, I would never put my DCs through what I faced as a child, and they are growing up so beautifully.
I don't know if I would feel like this if other things (that really have nothing to do with the choices I made; nobody could have predicted what is happening) weren't going so drastically wrong. But I keep returning to the thought that I should have had a career and earnt money, got a mortgage, should have made more friends, should have lived on my own first. I just want out of this life. I am scared I will spend the next 50 years feeling I have made a mistake.
I don't know what to do.
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Mental health
Paralysed by regret - how to move on?
10 replies
fuzzpig · 04/06/2012 08:42
OP posts:
Leverette ·
04/06/2012 08:56
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