My anxiety has affected my daughter

[eliselady]

I have been struggling with anxiety for a couple of years. I hated being on cipralex and so came off and I thought I was doing ok. However the anxiety is back with a vengeance and I need to go back to the doctors tomorrow.

The worse part is that I am sure that my moods and temper have affected my 7 year old. She has trouble making friends at school and although recently this has improved, tonight we had a row and I have realised that lately I am frequently cross with her. I was rude about some books she really loves and she was devastated. There was no need for me to be unkind. I have little patience at all and I think I have instilled in her an insecurity, because the person who should be 100% behind her at all times, can be cross and critical. She seems to enjoy irritating me and I wonder if its to get attention

oh dear, I cant really type any more. I was wondering if anyone had been through anything similar?

[dottyspotty2]

Elise I was much the same for years felt I ruined my childrens childhood but unlike you I couldn't see it at the time, DD2 (16) and I have had a few heart to hearts over the last few months since I sought help over my issues and she has said she thought I really hated her as a child but she knows now that I couldn't help it. She has ADHD so a short fuse anyway but I didn't help matters, I do wish I'd got help years ago but I wasn't ready to admit that what had happened to me throughout my childhood had affected me I really hope you resolve your problems what I can say that I did do was make time for me and her whether it was going for a juice or a girly day out etc she really enjoyed having me to herself perhaps that would be something you could do.

[eliselady]

Thank you both so so much for replying to me. I was absolutely beside myself last night and really losing it. I will take your advice. I have been trying for us to have quiet time but with two children and a husband that isnt around much means that actually quite difficult

I have my Docs appt today. I feel so much better today I want to cancel, but I have people telling me I should go so, I think I should.

Have either of you had any form of counselling with your children?

[dottyspotty2]

No but I was sent to parenting classes which in my mind confirmed I was a crap mother.

[cestlavielife]

you can get help and support for her -speak to young carers

www.youngcarers.net/i_care_for_someone_who/30/39

home page
www.youngcarers.net/i_care_for_someone_who

they can give one to one support or she could attend a support group/activity session

[ChiefPotterer]

Your DD is young and wont remember a lot of this so dont worry too much about what has already happened-get to the gp and get the right meds! Cipralex is a SSRI and these increased my anxiety! Ask for one of the older ADs-once you are on the right meds you will not believe the difference-anxiety is dreadful I worried so much about the effect on my children but now that I am better there has been no lasting effects and I accept that it was just a stage and any impact was completely out of my hands. Best of luck hope you feel much better soon.

[eliselady]

I am sorry it has taken me a while to come back. My daughter has been off sick and my mum has also been here. Every time I sit down to type something someone starts reading over my shoulder!

Docs appt was standard. Crying, sympathy, prescription. Citilipram. Have been on it for a couple of days and so far no horrendous nausea like I had before, and no nightmares either.

Have been taking onboard your advice, Loopy and Dotty. Spent some lovely quiet time gardening with little one, which she loves and spoiling her when she was poorly. You have all given me hope that all this behaviour can be unlearned.

I am going to check out those links Cest LA Vie.

ChiefPotterer, thanks for the hope! I am hoping this can be unlearned.

I really appreciate you all taking the time to post, thank you