Have namechanged as I may well be outed.. In a nutshell, I was the worst sort of appalling mother to my eldest, now grown up dd. I was a mentally abusive alcoholic. I never physically hurt her, but I put her through hell . I am now well, and still feel bad everyday. She says she has forgiven me but how do I forgive myself? Me and her dad split up when she was very small and I am now very happy with a new dh and more children - who I feel I am giving the world to - so scared I may be like I was with her again. She has told me exactly how she felt; how awful I was and how she knows it wasn't 'me', but I cannot stop the guilt. I know it's not helping anyone, but what do I do?? I have suffered appalling depression in the past (I guess a lot of that illness also made me be so dreadful to her...) and am scared it will happen again. It's almost like my brain is fixated on the past.
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