Well on the mend but not happy with my want for alcohol??

[didsnbump]

Hi all, i was diagnosed with post-natal depression back in May 2010 3 months after DS2 was born. Me and DH hadnt been getting on and had nearly split up on a few occasions since DS1 was born Jan 2008. I saw a doctor in 2009 when i felt low but was told all was ok. When i finally got my diagnoses after DS2 i was so pleased as i was possibly going to get some relief to the sadness i felt with life. After treatment with my doctor, getting assessed and getting some councelling, my life has been the best ive ever known it to be.
Ive been studying Psychology with the open university since DS1 in the hope to give me some thing for myself, and have in the last few months got my self some part time work, so life is really really good. But this is the big big but, I used to enjoy the odd glass of wine of an evening, more than often only at a weekend when me a DH would enjoy a few chilling out, or with friends getting together. Now i find myself wanting to have a glass most nights, and then its never just a glass. Why because lives really good right now? Yes i still have and probably will for a few years yet have issues with being a mum, as its just not for me although i adore my boys, i feel they would benefit alot more if i could afford to work fulltime, as i would appriecate my time with them more other than feeling tired about never being away from them.
I dont know anyone or have anyone to talk to that feels like i do so feel so alien. :(

[Jacksmania]

I really quite like a glass of wine or two I'm the evening so probably not much good to you... bumping for you.

[madmouse]

Well done for recognising so early that your drinking is a problem - it's not just the quantity that counts, but the reason why you drink.

You say life is really good right now yet in the next sentence you mention that 'you have some issues with being a mum, as it's just not for you'. That is a major thing that must per definition cause a lot of stress. So life can't be that good, even if it's better than it was. Don't feel guilty for wanting to work. I have an amazing little man who will be 4 early next year and he's great company but oh do I love my part time job.

[racingmind]

I hear ya OP.

I have not gone one night without a glass of wine since I had a bereavemant months ago, and now its creeping up to half a bottle or so most nights. I've also been through pnd, major anxiety and relationship issues and basically a year of personal hell. I'm not going to lie, it works for me as an instant destressor and helps me get to sleep, even though, like yourself things are supposed to be on the mend.

I do not class myself as an alcoholic- I was brought up by one so I know a bit about it-and can honestly say hand on heart my drinking is not hurting anybody emotionally (not that this is the definition of an alcoholic, and we could all argue the toss about that for years, i just mean I dont think my drinking is a huge issue in the grand scheme of things).

However, I would like to be able to cut down as I have put on a huge amount of weight and wine is expensive and also I dont want my tolerance to go up much more so I end up on a bottle a night. What would you like to cut down to and what do you feel is stopping you?