how do you find it within yourself to start helping yourself?

[itsonlymeagain]

So I have some sort of mild depression. I've been to GP and offered ADs but said I would try some other stuff first - exercise, trying to do things I enjoy etc. I have also started counselling.

The first sessions of counselling was ok but I've had counselling before and think I am actually a bit sceptical.

So 3 weeks after seeing GP I am still struggling. Maybe I should be patient and give the counselling more time. But what about the other stuff, like exercise/finding "me time" etc. I just can't be bothered!

I sometimes think that I am quite happy being unhappy

How do you get out of the rut?

[stickwithit]

Sorry to hear you are having a tough time. Don't give yourself a hard time- you have already taken positive proactive steps in seeing doctor, therapy and posting here.

I am a fine one to talk but have you considered making a written 'plan'. Possibly with some type of reward at key stages?

I think it is vital that the plan is achievable and simple, otherwise not sticking to it will contribute towards feeling down. It needs to be a helpful plan or list- not another stick to beat yourself with if that makes sense.

Hope others come along soon with more advice.....

[Albrecht]

"I sometimes think that I am quite happy being unhappy"

Do you think you are scared of being really happy, like you don't deserve it or something like that? Just an idea, it could be way off the mark.

Do you have dcs? I grew up with a depressed mother and I don't want ds to see the same things. That is quite a kick up the bum.

I think lack of motivation / belief things will get better are symptoms of depression unfortunately so its a bit of a vicious circle. Maybe pay for exercise classes upfront if you have a skinflint gene it might be enough to get you to do it, rather than waste money?

[sharond101]

I have had mental health problems for 21 years. I was an inpatient in a private mental health hospital for 1 year and only since I decided that I needed more from life have improvements really been seen. All the therapy in the world is wasted if you are not ready to change. For me, and many others I know, the thing that made them change was something they wanted badly enough they had to fight for. For me it has been starting a family. I would not be able to conceive, endure a pregnancy or look after a child with depressions, anxiety, OCD and eating problems. This has given me reason to change and move away from unhelpful behaviours and ideas. It isn't easy or quick. I have worked though alot with my therapist who uses all sorts of different therapies to change my strong irrational beliefs.

One of the first ways to visualise what I wanted to change was to take a large piece of paper and make headings writing down the things I valued most in life. For instance, family, contentment, health, financial security and relationships. I then considered what I was doing now to live my life towards fulfilling these values and that made things pretty obvious as to what I had to change to make this happen. Then comes the hard bit of taking action using the things you want to get out of life for motivation.