Preventing PND- can it be done?

[hugglebug]

Hi. i have one DD aged 3 and I've finally got to aplace where we can try for a 2nd DD. Had bad PND (IMO). From her birth I felt unable to bond with her, didn't want her, resented her..the usual. Only stopped feeling this about 18 months ago after group therapy and a parenting course. My biggest fear is being handed DC2 and thinking "what have I done?" which was my first thought with a very planned and wanted DC1. i have been tring to pin down some of the "reasons" for the PND such as a very medicalised pregnancy and a dead mother, both of which i can't change for DC2 but also thinking that there isn;t the mind numbing shock that you get with your first LO. So do you think it possible to prevent PND or at least have better coping strategies second time around? Thanks. x

[ParsleyTheLioness]

If this is on your notes, and I am assuming it is, any good midwife will keep an eye on you. Also, pnd taps into 'loss issues' like losing your mother. If you would benefit from grief counselling at all, now would be a good time. Most places have a charity who will do this free/cheap.

[MamaMaiasaura]

Yes had servere PND with ds1 incl inpatient. I recovered with medication and counselling/cbt. I dont know what your particular issues were as varies so much. But I was forgiving to myself When preg with ds2 and made sure I didn't put myself under undue pressure etc. I was ok and just had third baby (22/10) and feeling ok again too. Good luck xx

[reallytired]

I had bad postnatal depression. I was treated in the community with help from the community mental health team, health visitor and GP. I did attend a support group, but it was a complete and utter disaster.

With my second child I avoided depression, but had mild anxiety instead.

There are hormonal factors with postnatal depression/ anxiety which you can't prevent. However there is a lot you can do to prepare. For example learning relaxation techniques like mindfulness or reading books on resilence.

www.amazon.co.uk/Resilience-Factor-Finding-Strength-Overcoming/dp/0767911911?tag=mumsnet&ascsubtag=mnforum-21

You can also ask your health visitor she can do the Edinburgh questionaire at 6 weeks and six months.

[GetDownYouWillFall]

I believe it is possible. Still early days for me, but so far so good. DC2 is nearly 6 weeks old.

I had a terrible time with DC1. REally bad PND. Hospitalised in a mother and baby unit for 3 months. I was on heavy duty medication for 2 years afterwards. Told I would be on medication for the rest of my life etc....

Well, it was a hard decision to try for DC2 but am sooo glad we did it. I feel compltely different this time round. Knackered, yes. But instead of dreading hearing my baby cry, and panicking about every little thing, I actually enjoy attending to my baby this time round. I realise that when you have bonded with a baby, all the chores and the mundane-ness of it all is SO much more bearable!

For me, what made the difference was first and foremost, having a better birth experience. I acheived this through hypnobirthing and practising relaxation tecniques daily during pregnancy. This meant I was much more chilled out. I had a much more straightforward birth and was home the next day. This compared with a horrendous first birth experience where I had a 9 day hospital stay.

Being home quickly meant I could sleep and relax in my own home again. Also the fact I didn't have drugs in pregnancy meant my baby was much more alert, ready to feed straight away. I was able to breastfeed, which I believe has really helped the bonding. Also breastfeeding makes you feel more relaxed because of the hormones it releases.

I am being monitored closely by the psychiatrist, and to be honest I DO have tearful days. But this is normal for any mum. I do not have the awful hideous anxiety, insomnia and misery that I had first time round. I just feel tired. But I enjoy spending time with my baby, and I realise how much I missed out on first time round.

I do think you can do a lot to help yourself avoid it second time round, I really hope it goes well for you x

[reallytired]

The CPN I had with ds recommended trying for a spring baby. It is easier coping with a cranky newborn when it is sunny.

I found it much easier the second time round. I knew how to look after a baby and that made me more confident.